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Sunday, August 22, 2010

I Can't Force My Man To Carry A $60 Diaper Bag So I'll Sell It On EBAY Instead

It was like six thousand degrees this weekend and yard selling was only for the bravest of soulsGarage Sale signs were melting on blazing hot metal street posts and I was afraid to even go outside.
The counselor had to work this weekend, so with five kids ages 10 and under, I had to consider my options.

I could bribe them to come out in the heat with me by buying them slushes, but no doubt there would be some sort of mess like last time.

Plus, five kids in the car means very little space to bring trash home.

"It is really worth it," I think to myself as I look at all of them still in their pajamas.
Around noon a little friend called to see if Mayer could come over and play.  We all piled in the car and out we went.

And in less than a mile, would you believe I found a yard sale? 
I know you believe it, but still, I was surprised being it was so hot and late in the day.
We pull up to this gorgeous two-story Victorian brick house, with this amazing beautiful tutor-style roof and stain-glass windows.   
I'm certain this is the sale that makes it worth it, that this is the sale that would've kicked me out of bed at 6:00am.  
It's looks very inviting, that is until we all pile out of the air-conditioned car. I've got Reef in one arm and Eden in another and the thought crosses my mind again, "Is this really worth it?"
The sun shines on us like we're under a magnifying glass and Eden's face is already bright  red when this man walks out of the garage. 
He's dressed like a fashion model, with his ultra-fancy jeans and tuffed salt n' pepper hair.  He looks nothing like the typical sloppy attired garage sale attendee. Even the sweat dripping down his face is designer.  He offers me a nice "hello" and the typical question  "Are all these kids yours?

I start my search.  I'm in full garage selling mode and nothings going to distract me from my mission, except for of course five kids, six thousand degrees and my forgotten sunglasses.  Reef reaches out for these crazy red glass giraffes that are begging for a two-year old to drop them and get them out of their misery.
"How much for these," I ask Calvin Klein as I hold out the giraffes.
"My wife wanted $10.00, but I'm sure she'll take $8.00."

Really, I was thinking more like .25 cents each.
And that's when it hits me.  I get it.  It's one of those garage sales.  No wonder there's so much stuff here.  This trash is so expensive, no one's willing to buy anything.  Mr. Homeowner is a big spender and he expects people shopping his trash to be big spenders too.

I put the giraffes down and try to explain to my crying two-year old son why he can't play with them.  I'm just about out of patience, when I spot this very cool camouflage bag
Let it be known, I really like camouflage in just about everything expect military paraphernalia.    
"How much for your bag," I ask, already regretting it.
"$10.00," he says.  "I bought it on-line at for $60.00.  It's a really great bag for dads."
You know, I don't usually fall for a great sales pitch, but I was sold.
Plus, his eyes were really blue.
"Would you take $5.00?"
He was really indecisive and I wasn't sure if I'd offended him when he said an amazing word that makes it all worth it.  
He said "Sure."
I explained to him I left my cash at home and I would be back after I dropped my son off at his friend's house.

So about an hour later (isn't that what it's like with five kids), I drive back to his house with my hot little Abraham Lincoln (that's my $5.00 bill) and wouldn't you know it, he's out their with his cute-as-a-button wife, packing his truck with his garage sale trash.
"Take anything you want," he offers.  "It's all going to the thrift store."
"Thank you, but I have the $5.00 if you still want to sell me the diaperdude bag," I say to him.
Would you believe he already has the diaperdude bag in his truck ready to go to the thrift store?
I know you do, but I was shocked.
  I marveled at how quickly things we acquire go from having value to very little worth.
I give him the $5.00 and took my hot (literally, it was  burning my fingers) little bag when he stopped me.
"And take these giraffes for your son," he says as Reef reaches out for them.  These glass giraffes were so hot, I could have remold them into a really nice piece of art.  
"Let's let them cool off first," I say to Reef as I put them in my ultra-plush diaperdude bag.
There's no way I can stage these red giraffes to look good because really, they're just weird, but 
once they cooled down Reef had a lot of fun. 
Later that night, I say to the counselor "I have a surprise for you." 
I said it with a sweet voice and he got really excited, when I pull out the diaperdude bag.
And his reaction is?
He's stumbled around the idea of carrying a diaper bag, trying not to hurt my feelings and then says:
"I'm just not that into it, but thanks anyway?"
And I say:  "That's alright baby, because your really cute and I can make more money selling it on EBay." 
That's how it goes around here, so I guess it was worth it.  
Linking up to:

The Girl Creative


  1. This is the most I have laughed all day!! Very funny!! I know about those kinds of yard sales...take a quick brezze thru and gone from there!! LOL

  2. Too funny! I've been to "those" kind of garage sales too.

    Mary Ellen

  3. You didn't ask to take all of the clothes he had in his truck!!! Or at least the Calvin Kleins. OOOOh you are a good person. Maybe you will find them again on $1 day.


  4. It cracks me up that people will try to sell their stuff for big bucks at a garage sale, but at the end of the day when no one buys it they just take it to the thrift store.

    Maybe you should have offered to take all his stuff to the thrift store for him. :)

  5. I don't know. When I'm at garage sales where the clothes (especially baby clothes) are $5 an outfit and they are super faded that is silly in my opinion. I know when we threw a garage sale, we had a few people be rude about the prices. Example being Columbia backpack with a $68 price tag still on we marked at $5 firm. The lady argued with me when I said the price was firm saying it was a horrible garage sale price. I think it definetly goes both ways. Since those people obviously bought quality items they should have ebay or craigslisted the items and they would have made more money.