We've all seen the cover stories on tabloid magazines
showcasing perfect bodies with the headline “How I lost x-amount pounds” or
“How I got my body back.” The celebrity
is sporting some string bikini or skin-tight dress, showcasing her glamorized
thin body. That’s how society celebrates weight loss. It’s something to be put on display.
I've thought long and hard about sharing my current weight
lost journey. If it was a number’s game,
it wouldn't be worth documenting, but my experience was somewhat
different.
Mine was a spiritual journey of loving myself and trusting in God.
Let me give you a brief summary of my battle with self-image
and weight. I was a chubby girl, heavier
and taller then others my age. I had a
very heavy grandmother and always felt I was destined to inherit such
genes. I struggled with feeling fat and
didn’t feel like I fit in with the pretty girls. I started sports in jr. high and thinned out
a bit, but still feel like I was different.
As a young adult, I maintained a healthy weight, but struggled with my
self image and losing those last 10 pounds.
I think we all want to be thinner, prettier and more likable. Even on my wedding day, I was worried about
if I was thin enough; pretty silly when looking at the big picture of
life. Fast forward to having five kids
in 10 years and I hadn't lost the weight associated with pregnancy. I had a serious problem. Sure, I tried eating less and working out
more, but the scale wouldn’t budge. I
seemed stuck.
I remember thinking about a year ago “So, this is what it’s
like getting older.” I couldn’t run as
fast, jumping on the trampoline with my kids was something I enjoyed any longer
and nothing in my closet wanted to fit.
Should I settle? Did I have a
choice?
Then, one day while reading the scriptures I came across
this Bible verse.
Eat, drink and be merry, for tomorrow we die.
1 Corinthains 15:32
This scripture is also found in the
Book of Mormon; Another
testament of Jesus Christ.
2 Nephi 28:7
Yea, and there shall be many which shall say:
Eat,
drink, and be merry, for tomorrow we die; and it shall be well with us.
I’ve heard this scripture my entire life and always thought
it pertained to those struggling with addition like drugs or alcohol, but this
time when I read it, it seemed to speak to me.
Suddenly, I realized it pertained to me and my personal struggles.
What was I putting off in my own life, saying “Oh, I’ll get
to that later, when I have more time, better resources, more money or more self
discipline?” In other words, what was I
procrastinating in my own life?
How many times had I put off starting on a healthier eating
plan because tomorrow would always come?
That’s when I realized today was the day.
A friend of mine had recently lost weight on the
medi-fast
program, so I found a weight-loss coach and ordered the food. It started out simple enough with eating less
and making better food choices when on the 4
th day I said to the
counselor “I’m so hungry I think I could eat off my right arm.” I wasn’t sure if I could do it. It was too hard. Was it really worth it? Should I believe the choices I make today
were insignificant because I always had tomorrow to try again? I had a critical choice to make. Was today really the day I was going to make sacrifices? I repeated the scripture again in my mind,
over and over again, remembering how it had impacted me and really thought
about what God would want of me. What
about people who are facing a serious addictions? How difficult it must be for them to give up their
substance. I had such sympathy for them
when it occurred to me food
is an
addition. This was a very personal
experience, especially when I recognized how my weight had influenced my
self-image. Did I want another day,
another month, another year feeling like I wasn’t good enough? The weight needed to come off for my personal
growth.
I weighed in a week later and lost more weight then I’d
expected. Seeing such fast results made
a huge impact. It was still difficult, every day, every hour, sometimes every minute because I had to make conscious choices about what I could or could not put into my
mouth. I kept the scripture out where I
could read it whenever I needed encouragement.
I went the entire Halloween, Thanksgiving and Christmas season making the
necessary food choices to help me reach my goal. Some days I cried; I was mad and it didn't seem fair. I had cravings that left me dizzy. I prayed and drank lots of herbal tea. Other days I floated; I was sustained and felt like the luckiest girl in the world. Food was losing control over me. I have never been into diet soda, but some days it was what I needed to get over the hump.
I remember about a month into the program, running down the
street to my mom’s house when I noticed how easy it was to run. I couldn’t believe how free I felt. My legs were so easy to pick up and my body moved with less effort than before. This was another
motivating experience that kept me going.
I lasted on the program for 8 weeks before I pooped
out. The weight-loss process is mentally
exhausting, but medi-fast rocks. I
couldn’t have lost the weight any faster.
I still have a bit more to go to get to my pre-pregnancy weight, but I
am so happy where I’m at. Everyday I
thank Heavenly Father for giving me such a gift and when I am tempted to eat
something that could compromise my success; I remember my scripture that kept
me on track.
Yea, and there shall be many which shall say:
Eat,
drink, and be merry, for tomorrow we die; and it shall be well with us.
So, now that I've been through it what would I say to my pre weight-loss self?
There are many things I learned from my experience that I
wish I’d known all those years I’d struggled.
First of all, find a program that works specifically for you. That way all your effort and dedication isn’t
for nothing. I spent a lot of time for
decades doing things half-way. I didn’t
realize I needed to be 100% committed. Did
that cookie or extra bite really make a difference? The answer is yes. I never knew that.
Second, there is a true start and stop date
to dieting. There is an end in
sight. I didn’t realize this, even while
I was on the program and that would have helped. I guess even while doing it I still didn’t
really believe it was possible. If I
could have said “Eight weeks, Laura give it eight weeks,” I think I wouldn’t
have felt so frustrated at times.
Third,
reward yourself with beautiful experiences, early morning walks, plant flowers,
take pictures to document your process to see how far you’ve come and buy new
clothes. I started buying new outfits
for date night and couldn’t believe when I started wearing smaller sizes.
Lastly, don’t beat
yourself up. This process is difficult,
but it’s worth it. Celebrate even the
smallest success.