The Moment of Saying Goodbye

In July, mom and dad were called to serve as temple workers in the London Temple.  

My mom dreams of England and considering there are another couple of months of Arizona heat to deal with, I think England is a great option.

They left last week and my heart has been a flurry of emotions.

I’ve been married for almost 18 years, and for 16 of those years, I’ve lived on the same street as my parents. 

Here is the view, standing from my home looking down at her home.  There is only one house that separates us. 

Living close to my parents, well, there are too many blessings to count, but one of the most meaningful is the most obvious – our close proximity.  In a moment’s notice, I can run down to borrow the white sweater I saw my mom wearing last week or she can run up to borrow my crock pot (which she gave me for Christmas).  I see her every day walking her dog Winne and I see my dad riding his bike through the neighborhood.  When my mom pulls out of her driveway to run up to the store, she might stop and ask if I need anything.  I see my dad pull weeds and keep up with the lawn.  Every day, I am privileged to watch a day in their lives – moments as they love, serve and grow.  It’s an interesting perspective and is something that can easily be taken for granted.  There’s a comfort in the daily witness of their lives – the waves and smiles, the offerings of food and borrowing of tools. 

Eden at Grandma's with her cousins.

A few weeks ago, on a Sunday morning, one thing after another piled up on my list of motherhood tasks and I became overwhelmed.  I took the baby and walked down to my parents.  I wasn’t sure what I needed, but I knew if I told them how I felt they would know what do to.  Sure enough, my mom offered words of wisdom and my dad offered a Father’s blessing.  I came home an hour later with a new determination and a fresh perspective on what I had to offer.  My kids smiled as I walked in the door and the contention that had been their earlier had dissolved. 

The night before my parents left for England, my mom came over with some food items that she thought I might enjoy.  We talked for a few minutes and hugged, celebrating this wonderful opportunity for her.  My kids said goodbye to Grandma and then it was time for her to leave.  I walked out the front door with her, my baby Canyon in my arms.  Canyon looked up into the sky and said “Star,” his new favorite word.  My mom and I giggled over his tiny little vocabulary, encouraging him to say “Bye Bye.”  We hugged again.  I watched for what would be the last time in a while, as she walked the stretch of lawn from my house to hers.  I started crying, and had the sensation that my heart my split in half.  Canyon got out of my arms and followed her.  My mom stopped and spent another precious moment or two with him, pointing to the stars and the leaves in the trees. 

I walked over to my mom, trying to hold back the tears.  “I’m not sure if I’ll ever understand how much you love me,” I said and we hugged.   

I took Canyon in my arms and my mom turned back, walking towards her house.  This night sky was dark and I watched as her silhouette started to fade.  She was leaving.  The symbolism was almost too much.  She was there, but she wasn’t there.  I watched her go and prayed with all my heart I would see her again someday.  In a sort of desperate moment, I shouted out, “I love you, Mom.”  She turned and I could see her face again in the moonlight.  “I love you, sweet Laura.”  After that, she was gone.

I tried not to get carried away, but I had to let the moment teach me.  Here I was, so happy for my parents to have this opportunity, but knowing they would be gone for birthdays, Thanksgiving, even Christmas.  But, it was more than that.  It was the moments I would miss the most like seeing my mom at the mail box or watching my dad take out the trash.  They would be missed in the every day moments of blowing kisses and evening prayers, of homemade cookies and compliments of love. 

My mom, my best friend, one of the few people on this planet who would do anything for me was leaving and I wanted to do everything in my power to let her know I loved her.  There are not many moments in our lives when we know they will be our last.  Had I used the moments wisely?  Was there anything else I could do in the moment to express my love?  The idea this might be the last time I might see her was painful, but reminded me families can be together forever.  My mom will always be my mom, whether she is here, in England or in heaven.  The only thing I have control over is how I treat her, how I show affection or appreciation, how I express my love and gratitude. 

They arrived safely in London and start on their adventure.  

I will miss them, but even more, I will love them with all my heart. 

My mom sent this photo, assuring us they would not go hungry.

In this photo, I can feel the love my mom has for my dad.  He is her prince.

Girl's Dressing Modest for Dressember

If you’ve been reading this blog for a while, you are aware I am a member of the Mormon Church, The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.  I was raised by Mormon parents who joined the church in their early twenties, actually before either one of them met.  My parents both lived wonderful lives pre-Mormon with great families and opportunities, but felt the teachings of the Mormon Church brought more fulfillment and happiness into their lives. 

One of the elements of the Mormon Church my Mom really honed in on was modesty. Her mother had set this example and taught her the principle of modest dress. 

Beautiful and modest dress really defined my grandmother's era.

My mom with her mother and sister on Easter Sunday.  

My mom's engagement photo.

In return, my mom taught me and my four sisters the value of our feminine spirits.  She said “One way to keep your body and spirit nurtured is to dress in a way that honor’s God.”

Like many believers of Christ, Mormon’s feel we draw close to God through actions of love, moral goodness and keeping our bodies clean from addiction.  By living such a way, I believe we are given wonderful gift.  It’s the gift of the Holy Ghost.  We can actually have a companion sent to us from our Heavenly Father that guides us throughout our life, keeping us safe, directing us towards our life’s purpose and providing comfort in an uncertain world. 

What is modesty?  It’s more than just knee-length skirts and one-piece swimsuits.  I believe modesty is part of obeying the law of chastity because how we dress reveals our standards.  

I love how author Carly Walker describes us Mormons and our obsession with modesty.  On the website Normons, she shares her desire to stay true to her values in a fashion-obsessed world (and it’s a really funny article).  She says “When me and other Mormon girls my age grew up, we slowly learned the reasons why we dress the way we do. We stopped caring about looking like everybody else. We realized we were too different. Instead of trying to be something we obviously weren’t, we started to dress the way we wanted to, coined the term “modest is hottest,” and then rocked it like a boss.”  

image found here

Also, there’s a great Mormon fashion designer by the name of Athelia Woolley.  She is the co-founder of Shabby Apple, a beautiful dress and clothing company.  On the Shabby Apple website, it says “Newer styles seem to be using less and less materials, but our retro fashion from the 20’s, 30’s, 40’s, 50’s, 60’s and 70’s have a high level of modesty that still complements the feminine shape.”

Here’s a bit more about how Athelia started the Shabby Apple Co.

I had to laugh about Athelia's dilemma with sleeveless dresses.  You’ll notice many of the dresses I wore for Dressember had a t-shirt underneath.  Thus, the life of a modest girl.  I found this Shabby Apple dress at Salvation Army for $4.00 and featured it last year for Dressember.  

Here are the last days of Dressember.  

December 30

Kelly's daughter Emily left on a mission for Chile.  Monday night, they had a going away party.

I wore a Tryst skirt, made by Billabong.  My shirt from Express and Gap cardigan were all from Goodwill's $1.00 day.  

 Doesn't Kelly look gorgeous.  I know a lot of you miss her posts.  She may still blog from time to time, but her life has gone from busy to busier.  Not only does she still do estate sales and trunk shows, but she is also the new Primary president in her ward. She volunteers countless hours for the children ages 18 months to 12 years-old in her church.  

As a missionary, Kelly's daughter Emily honor's the modesty code too.  You can read about the church's guidelines of dress for missionaries here.  

She will volunteer the next 18 months of her life as a full-time servant for our Heavenly Father. 

December 31

Eden is posing on an end table I refinished in her $1.00 Old Navy dress from Goodwill.

On a side note, I was thrilled when Eden was highlighted on Dressember’s Instagram.

I know dressing modest may not be trendy.  It even appear's old fashion, but I am grateful to have this standard in my life.  Dressing this way is a conscious choice I make every time I go out shopping.   There are certain stores I cannot shop in because I will never find a thing I can wear.  Many times it's frustrating, but that's just how it is.  Thrift stores have such a huge selection of woman's clothing, many vintage, so most of my clothing purchases come from there.  When I was younger, I wanted to dress like everyone else.  As a teenager, one of the only fight's I every had with my mom was when I wanted to wear a mini-skirt.  And I did wear it!  Many times!  My mom let me make my own choices with fashion.  She never forced anything on me, but in the end, I came back to what I had been taught.  It's what makes me feel most comfortable.  I wish more designers would accommodate and I think in time, many will realize it's a profitable business.

Benefits of dressing modest:

1.  It allows me to be more creative with fashion. I experiment with layering and leggings.

2.  I get to cover up more of my flaws.

3.  I can still dress trendy, but I don't have to look like a teenager.

4.  I stay warm in the winter

5.  I set an example for my little daughter.

Linking up to:

41 things to be grateful for on my birthday

1. knowing I have a Father in Heaven who loves me
2. a perfect Savior
   
3. a fairy tale marriage with prince charming
   
4. loving hardworking healthy parents
   
5. 8 great talented brothers and sisters who inspire me
   
6. that I have the privilege of being a mother
   
   
7. 5 beautiful active children
   
8. tender sweet-spirited nieces and nephews
   
   
9. America; my country that provides me with so many freedoms and opportunities and the men and women who fought for my right to vote and have equal rights
10. the beautiful city of Mesa
    
    
11. the Mesa temple
    
12. purified filtered water
13. the spirit I feel when I go to church and Relief Society
    
14. the kid’s club at the gym where my kid's play while I'm working out 
15. designer clothes I find at the thrift store for $1.00
    
    
    
16. a mother who thinks the world of me
    
17. kisses every morning from my daughter’s baby-breath lips
    
18. shooting stars
19. writing
20. dreams
    
21. book titles
    
22. a great romance book
    
23. General Conference
    
24. piano music
25. air-conditioning and ceiling fans
26. wild flowers
27. best friends (and the gifts of their friendship and time they share on my birthday . . . thank you, thank you, thank you)
    
28. a body that can heal itself
29. chocolate chips
    
30. Disney princesses
31. healthy food (and since I'm sugar-free, gluten-free, dairy-free these days, here's to my peach cobbler made with Ezekial cereal, stevia and coconut butter)
    
32. diving boards
    
    
33. all missionaries, especially amazing Temple Square sister missionaries of missions past
    
    
    
34. seniors who still see the world with the joy and innocence of children
35. Halloween, well actually halloween candy
36. a teenage boy who still kisses my before he heads off the school
    
37. orange trees
38. childhood memories
    
39. strangers who smile
40. people who are inspired to make a difference in the world like The Invisible Girl Project
    
41. Inspiring artists; musicians, writers, etc. K-Love and Air-1.  Here's to my current favorite song by Plumb.

The Easiest Question I Ever Had To Answer

Almost 16 years ago, I was asked a question by the sweetest person I know.

He asked if I would marry him.
After the Easter pageant at the Mesa Temple, he showed the kids where and how he asked me to marry him all those years ago.  I think my kids were paying attention because later Chandler said "That's where I'm going to propose to my wife some day," and he pointed out a beautiful bench near a flower garden.
My heart still melts for this man I married.

This Easter weekend was wonderful with two Easter egg hunts on Saturday and two on Sunday.

What is it about Easter candy?
It just ends up everywhere, like that awful plastic Easter grass.  Let's just say, there's random jelly beans on the living room floor and those left over candy pieces in the kids baskets have been picked over.

My dishwasher has been on the outs, so I did a quick craigslist.com scan to see what was out there.  There was a used BOSCH dishwasher for $200.  The owner said it was in her mother's home and her mother had just been moved into a retirement community.  It sounded like a great deal (considering they sell new for around $750), but I couldn't get down to Chandler before it sold (about 25 miles away).  Well, a few hours later I did another craigslist search and found a used BOSCH dishwasher for $25 just down the street from me.  The guy said he'd just purchased a home and was replacing all the appliances with stainless steal.  My brother Sam picked it up.  It's installed and works great.  Thank you craigslist.com and thanks to the missionaries who came by just as I was taking the used dishwasher out to my car.  Yep, they volunteered to help with the heavy load.

I was able to finish up a beautiful mint green dresser last week and it already sold at Antique Plaza.
Before:

After:

Hope you had a beautiful weekend.

Here's a peak at my new ring tone; a gorgeous song by Brandon Heath called I'm Not Who I Was.  Whenever someone calls, I don't want to answer because I love to be inspired by this beautiful message.