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Friday, May 6, 2011

The Telephone Table - Part II

I stand outside and pick at the upholstery staples holding the warn-out fabric in place on my telephone table. 
It almost puts me in a trance, tugging the pliers and pulling out 40-year old staples.  
Whoever put this thing together was thorough!  
It’s harder then I thought it would be.  
My fingers are sore and I think I’ve done something to my elbow.  Never before has my elbow felt like its on fire.  This cannot be good.

I didn’t expect to work on this today, but my kids play in the backyard and my hands are free.

I’ve had an interesting week, a challenging week with gapping pot holes in this road I call my life journey.  I’ve emotionally stumbled a few times, falling into the confusion of other people’s choices.  I’ve tried to make sense out of something that’s not right, something that isn’t fair, but I know life isn’t fair. 

We can’t control what people choose to do, I know this isn’t a news flash or anything, but it’s hard when you’re the one learning this lesson.  It hurts when someone you love chooses the wrong path.  This struggle has made me evaluate every angle of what I believe and what I’m willing to do to protect my family.

Simple things; beautiful experiences jump out at me and provide angles of comfort:
  • like my baby saying her first word. “Hi,” she says over and over again, little princess socialite greeting everyone and everything she sees.
  • like eating the best watermelon I ever tasted.
  • like going on an evening bike ride with my kids and feeling just a wisp of cool air.
  • like watching the counselor plant summer flowers in the front yard and feeling so much love for him I  cry.

These are the things that clear my mind and bring me back to a place where I see beauty and know love.

I’m reading The Book Thief and can some up my feelings by a scene I read.
When life isn’t fair to Hans Hubermann, he says to his daughter Liesel,
“I am stupid and kind.  Which makes me the biggest idiot in the world.”

Yeah, that’s how I feel right now.

Open-hearted, trusting, willing to share; most of the time these character traits of mine serve me well, but when someone takes advantage of them I’m reminded we don’t live in a perfect world.   

Maybe you think I’m being too hard on myself, maybe you think I should stop pulling millions of staples out of an old piece of wood, but I’m learning I do have control over how I react to difficult experiences life throws my way. I can still choose to see all the beauty around me, because it’s everywhere.

I do have control over my relationship with God.  I turn to Him, lean on Him, know Him and it’s been so overwhelming I can honestly say I’m glad to have walked this path.  I know He’s there for me, I know He hears my prayers.

Do you see all these holes some obsessive/compulsive and extremely talented upholstery guy drilled out?  
I need to pick up some spackle and fill them all on.  I can’t wait to sand it all out, and then I think I drown this thing a lovely white, with a little dark stain.  She’s sure to be gorgeous. 

On an entirely different note, I got kicked off eBay.   

Linking up to:


  1. OMG, what?! I can't believe that happened!

  2. I'm not even sure where to start!

    First, the mundane....

    I just finished reading the Book Thief and LOVED IT!

    Second, well done with your patience and diligence on your telephone table.

    Third, what happened with Ebay??! I have been selling on there for about 6 months myself. I have really backed off in the last month or so because of their ridiculous rules/fees/preference towards buyers. I can only imagine what horrendous thing they did in kicking you off. I hope this is a temporary situation.

    You are in my thoughts.

  3. I just found your listings still on ebay, did you get back on?

  4. Don't you hate it when projects kick your booty? Hang in there!

  5. im sorry LAura! Doesnt sound right. I wish you the best. this week has been weird and challenging for me and many others too - what's uP? The planets lined up funny?

  6. Huh? What happened with ebay? Girl you kow how to drop a cliffhanger.....

    I know exactly what you mean about others peoples choices. It helps me to think of everyone as a child of God - Literally a child... still learning and making really dumb choices and usually you can do nothing about them. This kind of lets them off the hook, but only in my mind and limited view. In the end they will answer for the choices they made, regardless of if they were intentional or not.
    Laura you are a strong lady and I know whatever you are going through you have the perseverance to get through. Will be thinking about you!

  7. Laura.... I am so sorry that someone has caused you some pain. You are strong & will come out the other side better, wiser & stronger... Been there/ done that myself.. : )
    Now about Ebay... do tell....

  8. Sorry to hear about that, I'd be really upset. I'm pretty upset with ebay too. They have been sending emails about delaying clearing payments to my paypal account because my seller ratings "don't meet their standards." So even though I have a 100% positive feedback they are still going to hold up the money I earn. Very frustrating.

  9. What in the world?!?! No more eBay??! Thats not right!! What happened? Hang in there.

  10. I don't know what happened - but that's infuriating. I'm thinking of you and praying for you.

  11. I love your blog. I have read almost every post. I went to Goodwill today and bought my first stack of clothing to put up on ebay. I listed 5 items.

    And then,

    I come here to see what's up and you got KICKED OFF EBAY!

    (Freaking out....)

    Why?!? What happened?!?! I hope it gets sorted out soon.

    Adrienne (Closet student of ebay and lurker)

  12. I knew something must have been up - I check your listings now and then and I noticed you had been gone for awhile and also not posting your thoughts about the new fees. (Which are ridiculous by the way) Hope you can explain more of what happened!

  13. I'm sorry about Ebay. Ebay just isn't what it used to be. They are their own worst enemy. I was just feeling sorry for myself for negative feedback I recieved from a buyer who disagreed with the condition of the item they purchased. I told them to return for a full refund. They refused to return the item, saying they were too busy to do so. Funny thing is, the buyer is also a seller who currently has items up for sale. Somehow I don't think it would be hard for her to go to the post office. From the moment she contacted me I had a bad feeling. She wanted to keep the item and get a full refund. I refused. I get bad feedback but I can't leave her any. In my opinion, without being able to honestly describe the transaction both ways, feedback is useless.

    Whatever happened, I have faith that you will land on your feet. I've read this blog long enough to know that you are a kind, honest, caring person. I'll keep you in my thoughts and prayers.

  14. All your comments are so sweet. I'll explain everything next week, but I will say this: When a door closes, a window opens up.

  15. You motivated me to start my Ebay business almost a year ago, you're my hero Laura! Hang in there, girl. Things always work out for the best.

  16. eBay....Uhg. It is a love/hate kinda thing with me. I got "grounded" because of their new seller limits...then get payments held because I do not sell enough. Whatever. I thought my limits were lifted so I began 13 things listed...then the limit came back. Hopefully lucky number 13 will sell for me.

    I hope you get your issues worked out with them...if you even want them worked out. Sounds like you have something else up your sleeve....can not wait to hear what it is...


  17. Sorry to hear about your ebay issues..I totally agree about the door closing and something else showing up. God always shows a way..even if we don't agree with it at the time.

  18. hi Laura! I had a similar experience. my top seller status was removed due to inconsistency on shipping. although i did have 100% positive feedback. it was really frustrating because i shipped out my items very quickly and because of the new rating system I was not able to see who left that feedback. I just opened another account in my husbands name. I suggest you do that. I even made sure it was ok. The ebay ppl said it fine as long as I didnt have 2 ebay accounts in my name. I think you should do this! We all dont want you to miss out on your ebay experiences!