How I Learned About Ramadan

A few weeks ago, the counselor asked me out on a date.

I love when my husband asks me out on a date! 

He said, “Hey, do you want to go on a date with me?” 

I hesitated, just to flirt. 

This is really good for marriages, to still play a little hard to get.

“Ok,” I said, batting my eyelashes.  “Were do you want to go?”

Let me flashback for a moment.

When we were in Anaheim, California last December, we found the most amazing Middle Eastern restaurant and we ate there every day four days in a row.  The food, with the falafel, hummus, purple onion, olives, tabouli . . . Oh My Gosh!!!! We were in Anaheim to take the kids to Disneyland, but we walked out of the park every day to go to this amazing restaurant.  Let’s just say we’ve both been craving this delicious food every since. 

So, for our date, the counselor suggested we find the best Middle Eastern food in Phoenix.  And, he’d done his research.  When this man sets his mind to something, he follows through. 

Tempe, AZ has a restaurant called Princess Market and we were on our way.  We arrived around 6:45pm for dinner and found the restaurant quiet.  We walked up to the counter and the hostess suggested the buffet.  She escorted us to a wall of the most exquisite food; salad with feta and tomatoes, beautiful rice, meats, hummus, kabobs, roasted peppers and onions, tahini, and more.  The only caveat?  Dinner would not be served until sundown, around 7:30pm.  “Find a seat while you can,” she said. “It’s sure to be packed tonight.” 

The counselor and I looked around and besides the hostess and a few waiters, there was not another soul in sight.  Still, we found our seats, grabbed Canyon a high chair and sat back and waited. I’d been fasting for the day and although I was hungry, I felt a bit out of my element.  I wasn’t about to tell the hostess I’d been fasting and wanted to eat at this very moment. I’ve developed some self-control around food and have learned hunger does not mean starving.  I assumed the buffet was not ready because the chef had not brought out all the prepared food, but I was mistaken.  Something else was going on.  The counselor and I watched over the next 30 minutes as the restaurant filled up with families, couples and friend, all of Middle Eastern descent.  Many were wearing traditional Muslim apparel and I realized the counselor and I were the only couple not dressed as such.  All sat quietly until, not even the children spoke when at one defining moment, everyone got up, grabbed a plate and hustled to the buffet. 

The line was long and somebody bumped into me, spilling a warm orange soup down my leg, but whatever.  It reached in-between the toes of my sandals and I was walking in a squishy mess, but I wanted to eat. I have a baby so I'm used to eating in a somewhat turbulent environment, so it wasn’t something I don’t experience on a daily basis and let me tell you, the food was so worth the wait.  I sat down with a plate of food and that first bite was full of flavor and goodness.  The food was so good, we just made sounds like “eemmmm” and “yummmmm.”  We didn’t even speak.  I went back for seconds.  Canyon’s little hand continued to scoop up food I placed in front of him.  It was the most silent atmosphere I’ve ever eaten in, but just like the other customers, the counselor and I barely came up for air.  This primal environment was unusual, so when the waiter walked by, I had to ask “What’s going on here?” 

“It’s the month of Ramadan,” he said.  “Everybody has been fasting all day.”

Wait, what?  Fasting!!

“As part of our religions, we fast for 30 days from sun up to sun down,” he said and I could barely believe what I was hearing.  Fasting, religious fasting, a practice God told me to do for 30-days (although I’ve continued to do it now for over 6 months), an experience that has completely changed my life, that has made me more aware of the poor and those who go without, practice more self-control, be more grateful for what I have – all these beautiful people were experiencing the same thing.  Everybody was fasting!  I wanted to hug every single one of them.  I’ve never felt more validated.  Wow!  Fasting is awesome and these people get it. 

To learn more about Ramadan, click here.

When my belly was nice and full, I did a lot of people watching.  I watched as a mother helped her child, a couple sit in silence sipping tea, young men eating plate after plate of warm chicken and hummus and I was grateful and still quite shocked that I had the opportunity to observe and understand the beauty of this month-long religious holiday. 

My brother Sam recently went with Lifting Hands International to Greece and took food and supplies to the Syrian refugees.  

He too, had dinner with wonderful Muslim people and came home with more appreciation for who they are and what they are going through.  

How Hunger Became my Friend and Teacher

Lessons on Intermittent Fasting

Lesson 1) Be prepared to face hunger and become friends

The type of intermittent fasting I experienced required going without food between the hours of 10pm to 4pm.  During this 18-hour fast, I learned much about hunger.  

Let me tell you, hunger messes with you.  Its persistence forces you front and center.  First, hunger taps lightly on your window and although you know it’s there, it can be ignored.  A while later it starts yelling when suddenly its steel-toed boot kicks the door.  The walls of your home shake and once again, hunger will go away but this time you have to yell at it through the peep hole.  “You’re not invited!” you scream, but it lurks in the window well like a thief, waiting to bust down the door the minute you least expect it.  Hunger forces the least imaginative person into a make-believe world of food where anything besides nothing tastes delicious. 

So, why would I put myself in a position to feel hungry?  As a Mormon, my Christian faith encouraged its members to fast the first Sunday of each month, a task I’d ignored for almost 20 years.  On January 3, 2016 God told me if I fasted it would change my life.  As someone with a food addiction, this seemed impossible.  Although I knew going without food would be difficult, I could see the beautiful parable of sacrifice.  Fasting was an offering of self-will, one of the few things I possessed to give to God.  Fasting was a willingness to go without so somebody else would be blessed.  The law of the fast involved praying for somebody in need while going two consecutive meals without food.  For me, that meant skipping breakfast and lunch.  Once the fast was complete, a financial offering was made to the church equivalent to the cost of the missed meals.  Most church members donated generously because their money went specifically to feeding the hungry, clothing the poor and providing shelter to the homeless.  On January 3, my attempt at fasting was full of failure.  At one point I forgot all about my commitment and ate a piece of chocolate.  When I was hungry and thought I might faint, I drank grapefruit juice.  Several times I thought of giving up, but barely hung on.  I thought of my own needs and and the food I desired.  At dinner that night, I found some solace in my meager accomplishment.  If God could grade my fast, I would probably receive a D-; passing only because I had attempted to do my best.  Little did I know God had a surprise for me.  He wanted me to experience the same type of fast for 30 more days. 

(Several days before I started my fast.  When being photographed, I'd become very comfortable hiding behind my children.)

“No,” I said in my mind.  “You’ve got the wrong girl” and I dismissed the thought.  Was I gluten for punishment and making this idea up?  Was fasting for 30 days even healthy?  I’d been taught to keep the body fed, eating small meals throughout the day so the metabolism burned like a small camp fire.  Going without food seemed counterproductive and for me it flashed impossibility like a neon sign.  God couldn’t be serious, but again the persistent thought to fast for 30 days flooded my thoughts.  Once the idea settled a bit I wondered what God had in store for me?   I could see the poetic irony – overweight girl gives up food and learns to rely on God.  Like the Sunday fast, it was an enchanting parable for someone else to experience, but I couldn’t imagine it manifesting through me.  Still, I knew God well enough to recognize His voice, so with a willingness to try, I stumbled into my first day.  For 30 days I struggled, cursed, fought and eventually rejoiced in my fast, which I now know is called intermittent fasting.  What I didn’t realize, was hunger would soon become my friend and teacher.   

(A note my husband left for me during my 30-day fast.)

Hunger forced me to think outside myself.  Without hunger this opportunity would not have been possible.  Hunger was a mental game between my body and spirit.  Once my body realized it was not in control, my spirit was allowed to be in charge.  Like perspiration through the pores, I literally felt the dim light of my spirit shine through growing brighter and brighter with each day.  Released through hunger, my spirit soon began a journey of learning.  I understood my relationship with food, how it held me back and kept me in a constant state of low self-worth and procrastination.  Food; a sore spot for many women who struggled with body-image reminded me of Eve and how she was tempted by the fruit in the Garden of Eden.  Through deception, food could be a tool inflicting hurt and pain on women.  While fasting I constantly asked questions.  Why was obesity wide-spread?  Was over-eating and depression linked?  Why was body size related to self-worth?  Why had I turned to food after being sexually abused?  What type of example was I setting for my children?  Would my daughter struggle with the same issues?  I learned when every impulse and craving of the body was not satisfied, the spirit became stronger.  Such strength allowed me to not only conquer the pains of my past, but find purpose in them.  Fasting projected me towards what I could accomplish and what I was doing right in my life.  Self-discipline and gratitude rose out of ashes and through fasting, my best self became present. 

Because of the weight I’ve lost, I’m tempted to call fasting dieting but these two terms are counter opposites.  While dieting is an internal struggle of deprivation fasting is an outward expression of love and healing.  In other words, I wasn’t willing to give up my food addiction for myself, but I was willing to do it for someone I loved and could pray for.

Throughout the next few weeks, I will continue sharing tips and insights on intermittent fasting and what I learned.  If you feel someone will benefit from this information, please share this blog post with them. 

Read more about my experience by clicking here.