The Telephone Table - Part II

I stand outside and pick at the upholstery staples holding the warn-out fabric in place on my telephone table. 

It almost puts me in a trance, tugging the pliers and pulling out 40-year old staples.  

Whoever put this thing together was thorough!  

It’s harder then I thought it would be.  

My fingers are sore and I think I’ve done something to my elbow.  Never before has my elbow felt like its on fire.  This cannot be good.

I didn’t expect to work on this today, but my kids play in the backyard and my hands are free.

I’ve had an interesting week, a challenging week with gapping pot holes in this road I call my life journey.  I’ve emotionally stumbled a few times, falling into the confusion of other people’s choices.  I’ve tried to make sense out of something that’s not right, something that isn’t fair, but I know life isn’t fair. 

We can’t control what people choose to do, I know this isn’t a news flash or anything, but it’s hard when you’re the one learning this lesson.  It hurts when someone you love chooses the wrong path.  This struggle has made me evaluate every angle of what I believe and what I’m willing to do to protect my family.

Simple things; beautiful experiences jump out at me and provide angles of comfort:

• like my baby saying her first word. “Hi,” she says over and over again, little princess socialite greeting everyone and everything she sees.
• like eating the best watermelon I ever tasted.
• like going on an evening bike ride with my kids and feeling just a wisp of cool air.
• like watching the counselor plant summer flowers in the front yard and feeling so much love for him I  cry.

These are the things that clear my mind and bring me back to a place where I see beauty and know love.

I’m reading The Book Thief and can some up my feelings by a scene I read.

 

When life isn’t fair to Hans Hubermann, he says to his daughter Liesel,

“I am stupid and kind.  Which makes me the biggest idiot in the world.”

Yeah, that’s how I feel right now.

Open-hearted, trusting, willing to share; most of the time these character traits of mine serve me well, but when someone takes advantage of them I’m reminded we don’t live in a perfect world.   

Maybe you think I’m being too hard on myself, maybe you think I should stop pulling millions of staples out of an old piece of wood, but I’m learning I do have control over how I react to difficult experiences life throws my way. I can still choose to see all the beauty around me, because it’s everywhere.

I do have control over my relationship with God.  I turn to Him, lean on Him, know Him and it’s been so overwhelming I can honestly say I’m glad to have walked this path.  I know He’s there for me, I know He hears my prayers.

Do you see all these holes some obsessive/compulsive and extremely talented upholstery guy drilled out?  

I need to pick up some spackle and fill them all on.  I can’t wait to sand it all out, and then I think I drown this thing a lovely white, with a little dark stain.  She’s sure to be gorgeous. 

On an entirely different note, I got kicked off eBay.   


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