The Telephone Table - The Final Chapter

I’ve had a flood of emails and comments, supporting me and the loss of my ability to sell on eBay.  It’s been a tough time, trying to figure out my path without eBay. 

I went through the standard 5 steps of grief:

Denial – I couldn’t believe what had happened.  I went over it again and again in my mind.

Anger – It seemed so unfair, no justice at all.

Bargaining – If only I could go back and change what had happened, if only things could be different. 

Depression – I felt like my credibility and honor was lost, that somehow I was less than I was before. 

Acceptance – I now know I have been given a new path to life and new opportunities await me.  Necessity is the mother on invention and God will never abandon us.

You know I love to shop.  Read some of the earlier posts on My Dear Trash and I wrote about the thrill of the hunt, fashion lust and how much I love digging for the prize. 

So, how do I curb my appetite for all-things trash? 

I am filling my time with other things I love.

Spending more time with my family.

Buying furniture to re-sell at a consignment shop.

Painting furniture.

Working on my new young adult novel, yes, I said new!  And it’s coming so fast I can barely keep up with it.

And I realize sometimes a loss turns into a time to re-evaluate, re-discover and re-create.

I won’t pretend.  This fight definitely isn’t over.  It’s still something I’m going to try to fix in the future, when I’m not so attached to it.

So, what did I learn about eBay?

Now that this has happened, I can see there are ways to avoid such a disaster.

When my ability to sell on eBay was taken away, I called and talked with a customer service manager.  I explained to him my situation, pointing out the ankle jeans and the XL girl’s overalls, hoping he’d see how subjective my specific situation was.  He told me once a seller’s star ranking percentage goes under 98.5%; they are no longer able to sell on eBay.  They are kicked off and never allowed to sell again.  However, I was told every 4 months eBay gives you, the seller, a clean slate and starts your star rating percentage over.  So, if you receive an email from eBay stating you’re in trouble or on probation, I’d suggest you walk away from that account and sell under another account.  Do not link them up to the same bank account or the same paypal account.  Have them entirely separate from each other so you can work for 4 months until your other account is wiped clean from your poor ratings. 

Is there a way to avoid probation all together?

Yes, I think so.  I think it involves sincere communication with your buyers.  Be sure you have in your item description your desire to be the best eBay seller possible.  Ask your customers to contact you before they leave any negative feedback or low star scores.  Offer refunds immediately, do not delay.  Yes, it isn’t fair, but it’s worth losing out on the $9.99 instead of being shut down.  I always did refund money anyway, but sometimes I waited a day or two before I got around to it. 

My personality is very casual.  I react to the stress of life by making chocolate chip cookies or taking a bike ride and I don’t always move on things as fast as I should. 

When I started selling on eBay, it was a casual experience, fun and full of opportunities.  There was and still is no better place to sell on-line, but the rules have changed. 

I asked the customer service manager if I could appeal my case.  I was told no, that eBay doesn’t have an appeals process.  They do not have the man power to listen to every case like mine.

Remember, the customer service manager told me thousands of sellers were being shut down every day.  Ouch!

Realizing the inevitable. . . 

I did a Google search, hoping to find stories from other sellers who’d been kicked off eBay.  This was a waste of a day, because it’s a very negative experience.  I found clips on you tube with Axed-eBayer’s ranting and raving, spitting on the very spirit of eBay.  Profanity, boycotts, even threats to eBay itself.  I also read some very sad, sincere stories on the eBay discussion forum of others who’d been shut down.  An eBay seller back east was unable to ship the products she sold on eBay because her town had some of the heaviest snow falls on record and her post office was shut down for 5 days.  She received poor ratings on her shipping time and eBay shut her down.  eBay was her only source of income and she wasn’t sure she’d be able to make her house payment.

eBay is a billion dollar company and their needs to be a human element involved in this process, but who knows if or when that will happen.   

I can’t believe my telephone table is finally done.  

The first thing I did was drive it over to Kelly’s house, (who has been so completely supportive through this whole experience) thrilled I’d completed it and that’s when her neighbor saw it.

“Whatever it is, I want that,” the neighbor said and we agreed on a price.  I dropped it off at her house and she’s making a seat cushion for it. 

There’s nothing more fulfilling they doing your best, working hard and seeing the rewards.  I still look forward to walking this path.

And what about My Dear Trash? 

Interestingly, My Dear Trash was never about eBay, it was never about vintage furniture or garage sale finds, but finding value where others may not see it, especially in yourself.  It's a philosophy I claim as my life's mission.

Sexually abused as a teenage girl, I spent much of my life feeling like trash.  I moved through my twenties, many days feeling worthless. This trap left me vulnerable to more pain and more abuse, but through God’s help, I was able to pick myself up.  God carried my burdens when I was unable to carry them myself.  Then He gave me a gift I never dreamed of – my husband.  A kind, good and loving man who over the last 12 years of marriage has cherished me.  The counselor has taught me more about love then I ever thought possible.  He is my hero.  He has helped me see the value in myself when I saw nothing good at all.  When I was strong enough, I used the gift of his love to push through my past and I can say I am whole. 

Read through the 5 steps of grief again, and you'll realize they have very little to do with being kicked off eBay, but overcoming obstacles as a whole.

The bigger picture is My Dear Trash will continue to be a place where I write about discovering beauty, reaching goals and finding value where others may not see it; in trash, yes, at the thrift store, most definitely, but most especially in yourself.      
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