30-Day Intermittent Fast - What Did I Learn

Intermittent fasting is like travel – you’ll never know the places you’ll end up unless you plan your trip, pack your bags, get on that plane and go. I’m so thankful I had the chance to fast for the last 30 days.

When I decided to fast last month, the corona virus was starting to be mainstream news, but I had no idea how monumental it would be to fast during this time. We had just returned from spring break in San Diego and had the best time. All the restaurants were open, no problem with lodging, we spent the days at the beach, even went to a Disney breakfast.

 Ruby!!

I can’t believe how quickly life has changed. It’s so sad and scary, but I do have faith we will recover from this.

I love intermittent fasting. I truly believe it’s kept me healthy physically, mentally, emotionally and blessed me spiritually. 

After I had my 7^th baby Ruby in September 2018, I started intermittent fasting again November 2018 to March 2019 because my little boy Canyon was having serious medical problems. You can read about that here and here. Every day, up all night, recovering from a c-section, bonding with my new baby, dealing with postpartum, completely overwhelmed when Canyon had another serious seizure and spent three days in the pediatric ICU. The doctors thought Canyon’s condition was terminal and God all mighty, I started fasting and praying every day that his health would be restored, he would be made whole and that I wouldn’t have to watch him die.

In March 2019 after 4 months of waiting, we received the miracle news that despite having nearly every symptom, Canyon did not have the terminal illness they thought he did. Our family rejoiced and there’s still not a day that goes by that I don’t reflect on this miracle in our lives. Oh, and I lost 10 pounds from intermittent fasting.

I love walking in the morning.

I want to express intermittent fasting is so much bigger to me then weight loss. Don’t get me wrong, I love that it’s for weight loss because who doesn’t want that nice reward, but I truly believe fasting is a gift from God to restore our health, heal our children, bless our nation, grow spiritually, give to the poor and whatever else God has in mind. 

After all, it’s His law.

During this 30-day fast, I have been praying every day for our nation thinking this was probably why I’d been motivated to do a 30-day challenge at this time, but something happened a couple of days ago that really surprised me. I was feeling really good, but something I thought I’d resolved came up again. I was out on a run in the morning and I felt impressed to fast to help me understand how I should handle what I was going through. I immediately felt so empowered. Wow, I was in a position to turn to God in a fasted state and ask for help. God is so amazing and throughout that run, He spoke to me, made impressions in my mind, helped me understand in ways I would have never considered on my own what I needed to do. By the time I ran back home, I felt light as air. Everything had been fixed. My perspective had totally shifted, my attitude changed and my confidence restored.

For the last 30 days, I was praying and fasting for the world. I didn’t think there was enough room in my fast for me to personally receive such a gift, but God is like that. He loves to surprise us with more. More love, more health, more inspiration, more purpose, more awareness, more growth. More, more, more! He never stops. He’s so good. The God of more!! 

Because of my 30-day fast, I'm going to donate to Rising Star Outreach, to a fund they've started called My 100 daughters, to help those in need. I encourage you to participate in this part of the fast and to let helping those who go without be part of your fasting journey. Giving to the poor and hungry is why God asks us to fast. I promise you will be blessed, even surprised how God restores your offering. How much should you give? It would mean everything to me if you would sponsor a girl. It costs $1.00 per day. If 100 of us did this, my daughter Eden and I would be able to reach our goal and sponsor 100 daughters.

Read more about my 100 daughter project here.

I don’t own a scale. The scale seem to sabotage my wellness journey, so I ditched them about 5 years ago. I occasionally weigh myself at the gym or when I go to the doctor, but other then that, no thank you.

So I tried on some clothes today to see how my body has changed over the past 30 days. I really appreciate that just like my spirit, mind and heart, my body has changed too. Based on how my clothes fit, I figure I’ve lost about 5 pounds. 

I haven't been able to wear this dress since two babies ago!!

I found this old 2013 picture with my Wilma Flintstone necklace I found at Goodwill! The dress is from Goodwill too!!

Yesterday I illustrated a coloring page for you to print off, color and tape somewhere for you to be reminded of your success. Congratulations. This has been awesome. I love you guys.

Just left click the image above, copy and paste it in a word document to print.

Also, tomorrow, April 17, I’m starting another 30-day fast. If you want to go another round of this incredible practice, let’s do it!! I will go through the struggles, inspiration, hunger, benefits, frustration, growth and fulfillment right along with you. What else does God have in store? 

If this is your first time trying intermittent fasting, or if you are an experienced intermittent faster looking to prolong your fasts, I encourage you to try the Fastwell products. I was finally able to do my fist 24-hour fast.

The Day I Wore A Belt

When we were in Flagstaff this summer, I did something I never thought I’d do again.  I wore a belt. 

The “belt-wearing experience” was one of the many celebrations I’ve had on my journey of intermittent fasting.  It’s symbolic of a much greater blessing. 

In my book Starving Girl – my 30-day experience with the miracle of intermittent fasting and prayer, I write about the moment I realized my belly fat was taking over my life. 

My baby was about six months old and I was in the place where I could still make excuses to myself.  Yes, I was unhappy, unhealthy and living in denial, but I’d just had a baby.  Deep down, I knew there was nothing I could or would ever do about my belly fat.  Nothing in my closet fit, except if it was stretchy.  I sang praises to the yoga waistband, the clothing that made me feel like I was going to work out at any minute, even if I didn’t. 

It was during this time I had an encounter with my belly fat.  It was heartbreaking to realize how out of control I was.  It’s no surprise this experience started at Goodwill.  I wrote: 

At Goodwill, I walked over to the jeans rack.  With high hopes, I scanned through the jeans.  I was looking for specific qualities.  The jeans had to be stretchy, low rise and fabulously trendy.  I found three pair that looked like they should fit, and purchased them.  Later that night when everyone had gone to bed, I went into the bathroom and tried on the jeans.  In the mirror I stared, horrified the first pair didn’t even fit over my hips.  It was like my stomach and rear end were having a battle of the bulge contest.  Sure, I was aware my stomach had issues but my backside too?  Ok, I could handle this.  Sometimes sizes ran small, and I convinced myself this was the problem.  I tried on the second pair and wiggled, stretching and pulling, until they barely moved past my hips.  The button and buttonhole were nearly a foot apart.  I thought of the construction equipment that dug up and rebuilt roads.  It would take the chains and hook of such equipment to bring the zipper and button together.  Another hit and miss, but the last pair, the biggest pair I’d found, had the best stretch in the fabric. I pulled the tight material up my thighs.  I sucked in air and postured my body straight and stiff, pulling at the zipper as it reluctantly inched up.  Although I felt my back jar out of alignment, I continued.  I was going to win this battle or lose my mind.  The button dug into my thumb and forefinger as I manipulated it into the buttonhole. I’d done it.  The jeans fit.  Never mind the enormous fat and skin from my belly that hung over the jeans like an udder from under a cow’s belly.  With the jeans forcing my belly fat “up and out,” I lifted it with my hands, amazed it moved, pliable like stretched taffy.  My belly fat—why was it there?  Why did it need to be there?  How had I acquired it?  Should I name it?  Was it always going to be there?  Every other part of my body had purpose, but the belly fat had absolutely no purpose.  Yet there it sat, overflowing out of my hands like an Italian chef kneading pizza dough.  How many shabby chic dressers would I need to sell to pay for a tummy tuck?  Out of my peripheral vision, my rear end waved. “What about me?” it seemed to say.      

These were the three jeans that had been taunting me ever since.  Of course I’d never worn them, and I was too unorganized to take them back to Goodwill, but it was more than that.  I wasn’t going to let them win.  I had not known how or when, but the jeans were going down, so I’d kept them.   

I’m happy to say after just a couple of weeks of intermittent fasting, all the jeans from this horrible experience fit. After three months of intermittent fasting, the same jeans (and many more) were donated to the thrift store because they were too big. 

Donated jeans.

Going through my closet, giving away clothes that don't fit anymore.

Now, every time I wear a belt, I feel an enormous amount of gratitude.  

Well, there's that belt again!

My journey with intermittent fasting is far from over. but this small victory means my belly fat didn't win.

Here's my before and after picture of my journey, so far.

Finally Published - Starving Girl!

The counselor has been so supportive while I’ve been fasting and writing about my experience.  Where would I be without him?

When we were in Sedona in August, we spent some time writing down our goals.  I love doing this with him.   

“When are you going to publish your book?” he asked.

Oh, yeah, that little old thing!

Here I am in Sedona thrifting at Goodwill.

I wrote Starving Girl in 30 days and spent months editing it. 

There was a time, around the 5-month mark when I put the darn thing away.  I didn’t want anything to do with it.  Writing a memoir was hard, emotional, VULNERABLE!  I'd much rather be spending time with this little guy.

Crazy dog!

I loved fasting and I wrote about the ups and downs, the challenges and benefits, how I felt and managed 16-hours a day without food, but my experience was about so much more than fasting.  My mind was so clear and focused and writing became a necessary function.  Not only did writing helped the hours pass when I was hungry, but it allowed me to binge on my ideas.  These were personal ideas I’d never shared with anybody.  Fasting was not about food or dieting, but how my negative body image and food addiction hurt me.  I started asking questions about women and how we compare ourselves to all the perfect photo-shopped images the media presents to us.  Once I started down that path, I realized how sexual abuse played a huge role in my weight gain and how I had been running away from shame.  I learned how overeating affected my mood and my relationships.  Intermittent fasting was about hunger management and thinking of those who went without.  It was about learning to be grateful and living in the present, not the past or future.  My mind opened up in ways I’ve never experienced.  As I studied more about intermittent fasting, I realized this was not by mistake.  Increased brain function is one of the many benefits of fasting.

Leading scientists now believe that intermittent fasting is one of the key strategies for maximizing brain function. Click here to learn more.

According to neuroscientists, Fasting does good things for the brain, and this is evident by all of the beneficial neurochemical changes that happen in the brain when we fast. It also improves cognitive function, increases neurotrophic factors, increases stress resistance, and reduces inflammation.

Fasting is a challenge to your brain, and your brain responds to that challenge by adapting stress response pathways which help your brain cope with stress and risk for disease. The same changes that occur in the brain during fasting mimic the changes that occur with regular exercise. They both increase the production of protein in the brain (neurotrophic factors), which in turn promotes the growth of neurons, the connection between neurons, and the strength of synapses.  Click here to read more.

So, when I was writing about intermittent fasting and I had a clarity of mind like never before in which my thoughts were going a million miles a minute and I could articulate them in meaningful ways, this was not by mistake.  This was a major benefit of fasting.  I was remembering things, writing specific details, I didn’t get headaches like I had before intermittent fasting, I was remembering to pray every day, I could focus and meditate, research and brainstorm, I could go hours without the interruption of meals and snacks, I was focused and my writing became a channel of deep thought and healing. 

I came across this quote, and it affected me deeply. 

I could be vulnerable.  I could do it!   I was starving for more than food, I was starving to live my purpose.  I was starving to love, learn, heal, help, serve, give, dream and more.

I’ve read and edited Starving Girl countless times, but once the counselor and I set that goal to publish the book on my birthday September 24, I became determined to get the job done.  I wasn’t going to edit Starving Girl forever, like I’d been doing with my other books I’d written.  I was going to take that leap of faith, the plunge, put myself out there and whatever happened, I would be alright.  It was going to be finished by my birthday, and that was that. 

I met with my editor the evening of my birthday and she said we were close, but she had a few more suggestions.  I came home and worked through the night, into the next day and for the next week like crazy.  Everything was on hold.  The kids helped out more and encouraged me in the kindest ways.  My friends helped with the baby.  The counselor and I gave up date night, I didn’t exercise for the entire week, I don’t even know if I looked up, but a week later, it was ready.  One more final professional edit for typo’s, a new cover was finished and BAM! it was up. 

I’ve never been more determined.  By far, it's the best thing I’ve ever written.

If I wouldn’t have set that goal with my darling, I’m not sure if I would have ever published it.  Thank you to my honey for encouraging me.

Here we are in Telluride last week.  I love this man!

Book trailers are so much fun to make.  Here's mine.

 Starving Girl is available on Amazon and Kindle.  I’m working on the audio book as well. 

Thank you for all your support.  

Searching for Courage

Today I need courage and want to ask for those of you who know and love me to pray for me.

I've already had a small army of loved ones rally around me, who support this book Starving Girl.  

Among many things, I recognize food addiction, combat the negative body image and negative self-talk I've battled my entire life and learn to stop procrastinating.  I learned how the difficult decisions in my life have shaped my greatest potential and that big dreams are only possible if I live in the present.  All while I lose weight.  Amazing.

I know it's no mistake for my story to come out in a memoir about a 30-day intermittent fast. Fasting is a story all on its own, a most fascinating secret that has incredible mental and spiritual power.  What a pleasure to not only experience fasting, but to research and write about it.

Breaking my food addiction finally allowed for the clarity of mind that I needed. As I make the final edits, add the last minute changes and ideas, I am overcome with this epic journey.  So many of my life experiences manifested in this 30-day fast.  I wrote the book in 30 days and it's taken me almost 9 months to make sure it sings like a beautiful song.  I've cried and rejoiced, tried to hide only to finally be found.  

Now, I must find the courage for that next step, to let my words out in the universe and trust I did the best I could not only for myself and my family, but for God.  After all, He is the one who designed the fast.

When I first felt impressed to practice 16-18 hour daily fasts for 30-days, I thought it was impossible.  Still, I knew I had to do it.  Around day 12, I became angry.  Time seemed to stand still.  My hunger became a nagging beast and I couldn’t understand why I was putting myself through this.   It took 3 days, but around day 15, my emotions were finally set free.  Food could no longer keep them bottled up.  With that freedom, I took on a determination I’ve never experienced.  I finally had the faith in myself that I would finish my commitment of the 30-day fast.

But what happened on day 26, I never expected.

I started crying.  How could I give it up?  My daily communion with God?  All the self-discovery?  Finally learning to love my body?  Experiencing the incredible power of prayer?  It was so good.  Still, I knew my 30-day orientation was coming to an end. 

The last day of my 30-day fast, I wrote:

It was the last day of my fast and I’d had some anxiety about letting go.  I knew everything would be fine, but the process of evolving had been amazing.  It had been life-changing to peck away at my outer shell the way a chick breaks itself out of an egg.  It’s the “breaking out” that develops coordination, strengthens muscle and builds the type of confidence that screams “I know I can do this!”  I would miss my own hatching, the ceremony of peck, peck, pecking as I broke away fears, discouragement and hopelessness.  What I told myself I could never do, I’d accomplished.  What I thought impossible was possible.  How did I not know the greatest experiences in life came from doing hard things? 

My hunger took on a whole new meaning.  I wrote:

While juggling the tasks of motherhood, I spent the day writing.  I pushed away the sorrow, the knowing my orientation was finished; my days of growth and self-realization would never be the same.  My initial reaction to fasting was to shade my eyes and look away, but I was now staring into the brightness and glowing.  Stepping away from such enormous growth felt like a loss.  I couldn’t believe the miracles God shared in my life.  I wanted Him that big, that present.  I wanted Him like the feeling of starving. It was all-consuming, inescapable, and He was what I starved for now.

Thank you for praying for me.  I can already feel like I’m ready to spread my wings and fly.

Darn you, food addiction

Over 7 months of intermittent fasting has been darn good for me.

It’s allowed me the time and opportunity to see how food has controlled me. 

It grants me the space to step away from food without feeling threatened because throughout my life when I’ve gone without food, my mind and body have felt threatened.

It feels so good to go without food and know everything is o.k.  

An intentional intermittent fast means I’ve agreed before hand, before any hunger or craving comes in and messes everything up that I’ve set up the rules.  Going without food for 16-18 hours a day has programmed my mind to turn elsewhere for emotional rewards, to look outside the food box when I’m bored or happy or lonely.  Oh, this has been so good to me.

But, still . . . when I open up my 6-8 hour eating window the reality of food addiction is still there.

Here’s how my day goes.  I’ll fast until noon or 1:00, depending on how I feel and when I’m ready, I’ll eat some guacamole or a salad or an omelet. Something with good healthy fats and proteins, but after that, the girl looking to celebrate with food creeps around the corner.  She’s wearing a shirt that says “SUGAR” and it’s obvious what she wants.  I give in every single time.

Some days I’m like “What’s the big deal?”  It’s not like sugar every killed anyone, oh, hello diabetes.

As many of you know, my daily intermittent fasting start with a prayer and purpose.  It’s a spiritual process with lots of Godly intervention.  When I first started, the spirit taught me when I craved sugar it was because I craved the sweetness of the earth.  That’s right, sugar to me represented love and kindness.  When I craved sugar, I turned to prayer, reading from the scriptures and serving others, but that takes effort.  Whereas eating sugar, boom, the fix is done.

Sugar!! Why do you have to be so sweet?  I’ve tried fruit, nuts, smoothies and gum, but sugar, you’ve got me wrapped around your cavity-causing, fat-inducing, heart-disease contributing little finger.  Curse you! 

So, even 7 months into fasting, I’m still battling my food addiction.  I’m patient with myself, really, I see how far I’ve come, but am shocked how deep the dysfunction of food addiction can be.    

I have dinner around 6:00pm, again something healthy like a burger on lettuce or a vegetable soup.  Again, a pulse of craving runs through me and the desire for something sweet presents itself. I give in every time.  Around 7:00 or 8:00 pm, I stop eating and at that point, I have no problem warding off sugar, it’s only during my eating window that I faultier.

Even with 40 more pounds to lose, I’m not fasting for weight-loss.  Intermittent fasting is so much bigger than weight-loss.  For me, fasting has set me free, released me from self-sabotage and self-destruction, allows me the freedom to live without regret, puts faith first, think outside myself, dream bigger, accomplish difficult things and live healthier.  Oh, weigh-loss is just another wonderful side effect, a side effect that has slowed down and I think it’s because of the sugar.  I do want to learn to let sugar go.  I’ve tried some mental tricks like going on a sugar fast, but some days I just can’t remember or I put it off for another day. 

I want to set a good example for my kids.

Letting go of sugar would be a wonderful gift not only for my kids, but for me.  I'm trying to conquer this addiction from an emotional/spiritual path and there's lots of good information out there.  Darn you, food addiction!!! 

Any advice for those of you who have fought this battle?  I'd love to hear about it in the comment section below or on my facebook page here.  

How I Learned About Ramadan

A few weeks ago, the counselor asked me out on a date.

I love when my husband asks me out on a date! 

He said, “Hey, do you want to go on a date with me?” 

I hesitated, just to flirt. 

This is really good for marriages, to still play a little hard to get.

“Ok,” I said, batting my eyelashes.  “Were do you want to go?”

Let me flashback for a moment.

When we were in Anaheim, California last December, we found the most amazing Middle Eastern restaurant and we ate there every day four days in a row.  The food, with the falafel, hummus, purple onion, olives, tabouli . . . Oh My Gosh!!!! We were in Anaheim to take the kids to Disneyland, but we walked out of the park every day to go to this amazing restaurant.  Let’s just say we’ve both been craving this delicious food every since. 

So, for our date, the counselor suggested we find the best Middle Eastern food in Phoenix.  And, he’d done his research.  When this man sets his mind to something, he follows through. 

Tempe, AZ has a restaurant called Princess Market and we were on our way.  We arrived around 6:45pm for dinner and found the restaurant quiet.  We walked up to the counter and the hostess suggested the buffet.  She escorted us to a wall of the most exquisite food; salad with feta and tomatoes, beautiful rice, meats, hummus, kabobs, roasted peppers and onions, tahini, and more.  The only caveat?  Dinner would not be served until sundown, around 7:30pm.  “Find a seat while you can,” she said. “It’s sure to be packed tonight.” 

The counselor and I looked around and besides the hostess and a few waiters, there was not another soul in sight.  Still, we found our seats, grabbed Canyon a high chair and sat back and waited. I’d been fasting for the day and although I was hungry, I felt a bit out of my element.  I wasn’t about to tell the hostess I’d been fasting and wanted to eat at this very moment. I’ve developed some self-control around food and have learned hunger does not mean starving.  I assumed the buffet was not ready because the chef had not brought out all the prepared food, but I was mistaken.  Something else was going on.  The counselor and I watched over the next 30 minutes as the restaurant filled up with families, couples and friend, all of Middle Eastern descent.  Many were wearing traditional Muslim apparel and I realized the counselor and I were the only couple not dressed as such.  All sat quietly until, not even the children spoke when at one defining moment, everyone got up, grabbed a plate and hustled to the buffet. 

The line was long and somebody bumped into me, spilling a warm orange soup down my leg, but whatever.  It reached in-between the toes of my sandals and I was walking in a squishy mess, but I wanted to eat. I have a baby so I'm used to eating in a somewhat turbulent environment, so it wasn’t something I don’t experience on a daily basis and let me tell you, the food was so worth the wait.  I sat down with a plate of food and that first bite was full of flavor and goodness.  The food was so good, we just made sounds like “eemmmm” and “yummmmm.”  We didn’t even speak.  I went back for seconds.  Canyon’s little hand continued to scoop up food I placed in front of him.  It was the most silent atmosphere I’ve ever eaten in, but just like the other customers, the counselor and I barely came up for air.  This primal environment was unusual, so when the waiter walked by, I had to ask “What’s going on here?” 

“It’s the month of Ramadan,” he said.  “Everybody has been fasting all day.”

Wait, what?  Fasting!!

“As part of our religions, we fast for 30 days from sun up to sun down,” he said and I could barely believe what I was hearing.  Fasting, religious fasting, a practice God told me to do for 30-days (although I’ve continued to do it now for over 6 months), an experience that has completely changed my life, that has made me more aware of the poor and those who go without, practice more self-control, be more grateful for what I have – all these beautiful people were experiencing the same thing.  Everybody was fasting!  I wanted to hug every single one of them.  I’ve never felt more validated.  Wow!  Fasting is awesome and these people get it. 

To learn more about Ramadan, click here.

When my belly was nice and full, I did a lot of people watching.  I watched as a mother helped her child, a couple sit in silence sipping tea, young men eating plate after plate of warm chicken and hummus and I was grateful and still quite shocked that I had the opportunity to observe and understand the beauty of this month-long religious holiday. 

My brother Sam recently went with Lifting Hands International to Greece and took food and supplies to the Syrian refugees.  

He too, had dinner with wonderful Muslim people and came home with more appreciation for who they are and what they are going through.  

The Opportunity to Pray

Last week I was in Flagstaff and we had a wonderful time.

While at the hotel, I saw the front page of the USA TODAY newspaper.  It read 20 Veterans a Day Commit Suicide.  

(USA Today photo credit)

I looked at that headline and just gasped. I put my hand to my mouth and felt the tears form in my eyes.  I know many military families and couldn’t image the hardship they go through, but suicide?  Contemplating a veteran’s life experiences, I considered the loneliness, the violence, the inability to see family for long periods of time, the fear, the unexpected, the tough decisions, etc.  My heart swelled with sorrow and wished there was a way I could help.  In the same breath, I thought of the courage and had immense gratitude for those who keep this country safe, for America’s freedom is not free.  I immediately considered my daily 16-hour intermittent fast, and as soon as I had a moment to myself, dropped to my knees and asked God to bless those who currently serve and those who have served in the past.

Fasting has changed me.  Before, I would have felt sad and maybe, if I remembered I would have said a pray for the veterans before falling to sleep, but most likely I would have moved on with taking care of my children; to kissing stubbed toes or combing hair after bath time.  Going without food is such a gentle reminder that I have a specific purpose that day to find someone or something to pray for.  

I spent the day, remembering and praying for our veterans when within 24 hours the story of our five fallen police officers hit the news.  

(NY TIMES photo credit)

I couldn’t believe the side-to-side tragedies.  I wasn’t even finished with the veterans.  I wanted another day to ponder my love and appreciation for them when I had another cause to pray and fast for.  Heartbroken, I dropped to my knees again, so deeply saddened with the violence and fear of the society in which we live, almost overcome with a feeling of hopelessness, I mean really, what can a prayer do, when I opened my mouth and spoke out loud to God.  As I asked God to protect the lives of police officers and those of Black Lives Matter, to help those who have lost loved ones, to change the hearts of those looking to inflict violence, to bless those hoping to help, to bring peace to those hurting I felt my heart swell with grace.  I knew God was aware of all those involved and His hand would mend and heal, encourage and teach, comfort and provide, and somehow God would make something good out of this.  That my beautiful black brothers and sisters and those who put their lives on the line every day will grow and heal and find answers that only God can provide. 

My first thirty days of fasting, I would pick one person a day to fast for.  First, my six children, my husband, my 8 siblings and their families, my parents, my neighbors, church leaders and those in my church in need.  Finally, I reached out to fasting for Barack Obama and others in leadership positions in our country.  I fasted for my home (literally for the walls, plumbing, electrical, structure, etc.), for those on facebook who popped on my feed, sometimes for strangers, sometimes for the husband of a friend of a friend, my neighbor’s mom battling cancer, my old college roommate who’s son has a brain tumor, the recent ex-husband of my friend and my friend who did not expect to wear the badge of widow so early in life.  I pray for unwed mothers, unplanned pregnancies and abortion doctors.  I pray for starving children, heartbroken parents and directors of orphanages.  I pray for those who are living and those who have died.  There’s no shortage of people to fast and pray for and I find it absolutely breathtaking.  I don’t know if it’s blessing them, if it’s changing them, but it’s changing me.  Some days I cry.  I just cry because I love that God grants me the privilege to speak with Him.  

Intermittent fasting – 5 months later

I wrote my memoir Starving Girl – my 30-day experience with the miracle of intermittent fasting in 30 days. 

Every day, I took time to journal how I felt about what I was doing, the challenges, rewards and impressions.  I wrote about hunger, body image and overcoming negative self-talk.  I was in uncharted territories, I mean me, the girl who loved eating and had been overweight most of her life was going without food for 16 hours a day and writing about it.  I was no expert on fasting, prayer or weight-loss.  All I knew about fasting was what I’d been taught by my Christian parents as a child: on the first Sunday of every month our family skipped two consecutive meals.  The money saved from not eating the two meals was given to the poor.  We were intentional about our fast, praying for those in our family or community in need of help.  With this concept, I was going to fast for 30 days, meaning skipping two meals a day.  I skipped breakfast and lunch and would eat from 4:00pm to bedtime.  Before bed, I’d kneel in prayer and start my fast for the next day.  Why?  This may be difficult to believe, but it was because God told me to.  I fasted on Sunday January 3, 2016, my typical best-effort once-a-month fast when I felt impressed to fast for 30 days.  I was told it would change my life and my life needed a lot of changing. 

At first, I tried to talk myself out of it.  Why would I feel impressed to do such a thing?  Was fasting for 30 days even healthy?  My once-a month attempts at fasting were pretty pathetic and usually resulted in either sneaking something to eat or having a bad attitude and complaining about how difficult it was.  Truth was I didn’t want to fast for 30-days, but throughout my life, through miracle after miracle and blessing after blessing, I’d learned to recognize God’s voice.  I couldn’t deny the inspiration to fast for 30 days came from Him.  He’s the boss.  I couldn’t live with myself if I didn’t follow through with what I’d been instructed to do. Even on the most difficult days, even when hunger made me nauseous or when there was chocolate chip cookie dough right in front of me, I carried on. With God right by my side, quitting was never an option.

While fasting, I learned things about myself I didn’t know before like:

I learned I had a food addiction. 

I realized I had a negative body image and talked down to myself because I felt fat.

Although I thought I was grateful for food, I learned most of the time I resented food and blamed it for most of my problems.

I’d exaggerated my relationship with food.  When I thought I was starving, I learned there were people in the world who were truly hungry; even starving.

I didn’t realize how much food I had wasted throughout my life until I went without food. 

I lived in a constant state of either procrastination or rush and was never settled with myself.

Even with God at my side, fasting for 30 days was one of the most difficult things I’d ever done, but it was also one of the most rewarding.

The rewards were the following:

I was able to stop the negative self-talk in my mind.

I overcame my food addiction.

I developed a habit of praying every day, even multiple times a day for those in need.

I turned to the sweetness of the scriptures when I craved sweets.

I stopped wasting food.

I learned hunger was not something to fear or despise, but to turn to gratitude.

I became aware of my ancestors, those who’d lived before me who had gone hungry and was incredibly grateful for them.

I developed true empathy for the poor and prayed for them throughout the day.

I was able to give the money I saved while fasting to the poor.

I developed a relationship with God that literally brought me to tears.

I learned I am a child of God and I believe it whole-heartedly.

I learned to live in the moment.

Oh, I almost forgot because it’s not as significant as the other rewards - I lost 12 pounds.

After my 30-day experience, I continued fasting because not only had I learned to love it, but I discovered a term called intermittent fasting.  Believe it or not, what I was doing was healthy and promoted by many doctors and researchers.  Intermittent fasting concludes there is a pattern to eating and the body runs more efficiently when it consumes its daily calories in an 8-hour eating window.  I believe it is not promoted like it should be because nobody makes any money off it.  Intermittent fasting is free.

I continued editing my memoir; adding additional insights, stories and impressions.  It is now in the hands of a very talented miracle-working editor.

I just finished my fifth month of fasting.  My memoir is done and hopefully will be up on Amazon in the next month.  I’ll have a book launch on my blog soon, but I’ve learned so much more about fasting then what you’ll find in the first book.  The rewards keep on coming, as does the weight-loss so I’ve decided to start book 2 of Starving Girl.  Because I plan on practicing intermittent fasting for a year, I may also write a book 3 of Starving Girl. 

For many people, the most interesting part of intermittent fasting is the weight-loss.  Dieting is a billion dollar industry and people are desperate to get those unwanted pounds off.  I get this because dieting was the focus of my life every since I was a teenager.  That’s right, for 30 years I’ve fought this demon.  I will share my numbers, although I do this with one caveat:  fasting has changed my life because of the spiritual and emotional benefits, not because of the number on the scale.  I weight myself at my doctor’s office, as I do not keep a scale in my home.  I will not give the glory to the scale, but to my Heavenly Father.

 Before intermittent fasting:

After five-months of intermittent fasting:

I’ve lost 30 pounds, dropped two dress sizes and am running 2 miles a day.  I’ve incorporated a lot more exercise into my life because I love it and my body is lighter and stronger.  If it wasn’t for the spiritual growth, awareness and empathy I’ve developed, I don’t know if I would have ever learned to commit to a healthy eating plan, but this is it for me.  Intermittent fasting is amazing and now, it’s pretty easy.  I rarely feel hungry while fasting.  Prayer is essential, as is scripture study and giving to the poor.

I started a conversation on facebook about intermittent fasting and there were some haters.  Out of maybe 100 positive comments, 3 people voiced negative concerns.  I was told I was anorexic (yea, right!), needed therapy and should not be promoting intermittent fasting because I’m not a doctor or dietician.  Several people involved in the discussion defended intermittent fasting and voiced they had been advised by their doctor to practice the same thing.  Despite my insecurities, I combated the negativity pretty well and only wallowed for about a month.  I wondered if I should I keep my journey private, but when I was told to fast for 30 days, I was also told to write about my experience so I’ll share my story with the greatest of hopes to help others who struggle with the same issues.  You should talk to your doctor if you're considering trying it.  I'm ever so thankful for God's law of the fast.

A Beach Vacation to Remember

Last week, our trip to California could have easily been called: Every good reason to stay out of the water.

It was almost like a curse with gray skies, hundreds of thousands of dead red crabs, riptide warnings, cold water and a great white shark attack on a swimmer at a nearby beach.  We could have proclaimed “This one’s for the history books, kids,” as we packed up and left, but with boundless energy and cousins joining us, we made it into one of our most favorite trips ever.

Last year while in Newport, I had a three-week old baby and was primarily on mom duty.  

You mom’s out there know how beach trips are – cooking, cleaning, packing, unpacking, loading the car, unloading the car, folding strollers, unfolding strollers, keeping sand out of the baby’s eyes, ears, nose and mouth, etc. Last year I had a hernia, neuropathy in my feet, back pain and let’s not forget a mound of belly fat so protruding, it left me unable to bend to tie my own tennis shoes.  I can blame most of these physical problems on my pregnancy (especially the belly fat) and I was in pretty poor health.  I remember one particular day trying to body surf and when I felt the pull of my hernia, I quickly realized my days of playing in the ocean were done.

This year, I went to Newport Beach with a completely different outlook on life and a new appreciation for my health.  Because of my five-month commitment to intermittent fasting, I could play, jump, body surf, even run up and down the cliff stairs over and over again (yes, I did this for fun) because I felt so good.  My belly fat?  It's almost gone.  It's like saying goodbye to an old friend you never want to see again, except that old friend was never a friend, but a big old jerk who eats all your nachos.  Yep, that's how I feel about belly fat (I'm telling you, intermittent fasting zaps belly fat), it was a big old nacho jerk.

This was the trip salsa was made of?  Did I mean to say dreams?  No, I meant salsa.  I made it every day with loads of avocado, feta cheese and cilantro.  Eden and I made a conscious choice to not comb our hair.

Canyon made a conscious decision to take only three-minute daily naps.  

Because his nickname is “Perfect” and he is the happiest baby I’ve ever been around, it all worked out because he was still happy and perfect.  The boys made permanent residence at the resort basketball court 

and only came up for food, sleep and when it was time to go to the beach. 

Because the counselor and I are both self-employed, it can be a challenge leaving work for play.  We both love, I mean LOVE our work.  If I don’t physically leave my house, I find it difficult to let go of my writing and furniture projects, but this year it was different.  Because of intermittent fasting, I feel so very present. I don’t feel rushed, nor do I feel the pressure of regret.  I don’t worry about what should have been done and what needs to be done.  I no longer feel hungry while fasting.  If anything, I don’t even feel like I put a ton of effort into it anymore.  I am intentional with prayer and purpose and have spent the last two weeks fasting for my dear friend Bill Mellyn and his family.  Bill passed away after being hit while riding his bike and my heart has been broken.  Fasting has played a critical role as I’ve worried, pondered and trusted in God.  Because of Bill’s passing, I have been very aware of my blessings, how precious life is and the beauty of the earth.  I had some necessary internal conversations with God about the meaning of life, the type of mother and wife I want to be and the things I hope to accomplish with my limited time here.

I spent so much time kissing the top of Eden and Canyon’s heads; they probably both have some permanent indentations.  Eden said her favorite part of the trip was coloring.  I watched as she colored The Little Mermaid and leaping dolphins with rainbows in the background.  I marveled as Canyon learned to walk, taking in each precious pitter-patter step as evidence of the absolute miracle it is to have a baby. 

Canyon loved when I turned on the noise maker to ocean waves.  It sounded just like the beach.

I watched with awe as the counselor, well, did anything and everything because he is just so loving and precious I find I must pinch myself.  

Yeah, he’s that great.