My Favorite Health Benefits of Intermittent Fasting

Jen Reviews (www.jenreviews.com) is a blog from New Zealand and author Jess Miller reached out to me after reading my blog posts about #intermittentfasting and how I wrote my book Starving Girl– My 30-day Experience with the Miracle of Intermittent Fasting and Prayer.

The research is incredible and Jen Reviews lists 15 health benefits. If you’re interested in trying intermittent fasting, the article is a wonderful resource. To read more, click here.

Although I started practicing daily fasts for spiritual and personal reasons; specifically to overcome the harsh reality of sexual abuse I suffered as a teenager and young adult, to understanding the medical benefits makes me so thankful I've had the opportunity to practice intermittent fasting. 

Practicing yoga in the morning.

Of course weight loss, improved tolerance of glucose, longevity and others are great, but the number 10 on her list discusses the spiritual benefits of intermittent fasting. It says fasting improves spiritual well-being.

"Fasting is practiced by almost every religion around the world – it’s no surprise, then, that a lifestyle that includes intermittent fasting could lead to a deepened sense of spirituality. Regular practitioners have reported feeling at peace during their fasts, and studies have proven that fasting can help regulate mood by reducing levels of anxiety and stress. In fact, fasting is recommended as a natural treatment for a variety of emotional and sexual problems.

Whether or not you fast for religious reasons, intermittent fasting will help you feel more connected to nature and the world around you, and you’ll benefit from having a clear mind and a positive outlook." Jen Reviews

I know this is true. This is exactly what I experience. Nature became alive to me and I started connecting with smells, time, sunsets, wind, trees and more. I was so present.  You can listen more about this in my recent podcast here.  

I don't know how it works, but fasting is an untapped power that is truly a blessing and a resource given to us by God.

I did not start 16-hour daily fasting without what I call my food crutches.  I wrote about how I started here. 

Intermittent fasting with prayer is a daily commitment with God.  During my first 30-day fast, I prayed for people who I loved, I prayed for our country, I prayed for my enemies, I prayed for the walls of my home, I prayed for neighbors, my kid’s school teachers, even strangers who were suffering with health or emotional issues that I was connected to through social media.  After my 30-day fast, I had to get creative.  Who should I pray for?  I fasted for authors I love, humanitarians, public figures and more.  I fasted for the little girls I love so much from India, for girls in China and North Korea and other parts of the world where woman are oppressed.  My mind came alive with all the blessings I experience and how if I ask God, He would let me play some part in helping others in the world.  I prayed for the poor and hungry.  I would cry as I felt them all around me.  I prayed for different parts of the world and the land.  I prayed over current events, police officers, members of Black Lives Matters, I prayed for girls and women considering abortion that their minds would be open to how amazing their unborn child was.  I prayed for researchers’ of cancer, for doctors, judges, journalists and more.  Seeking out who to pray for each day made me so aware of others.  God loves us, this I know.  God is real.  During my last day of my 30-day fast, I had an experience that still leaves me in tears.  I felt impressed to write about my fasting, so from day one I kept a journal which is now my memoir.  Going back and reading it is still very emotional for me. 

I am a Mormon, a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints.  In my religion, the members of my church are asked to fast one day a month, skipping two meals.  I do not think you need to practice a 30-day fast to have a testimony of fasting.  I know God speaks to each one of our hearts and we know what we need to do to improve our relationship with Him.  My goal in sharing my experience is not to promote a dieting technique or even start a trend of intermittent fasting, it's to share how I have healed and developed a more meaningful relationship with God.  I know more then I ever have, that I am a child of God.

After my 30-day fast, I felt impressed to give money to the poor.  This is something encouraged in my church.  It's called a fast offering.  The amount that came to my mind was $1000.  My baby was seven months old and Derek and I had yet to pay off the hospital bill for his birth.  My husband is so supportive, he encouraged me to write the check to Rising Star, an outreach to children in India.  This was not easy for me, but giving money to the poor was essential to my fasting experience.  After losing 30 pounds, I’m so happy to give money to the hungry instead of to a diet company.  I’m so thankful God gave us the law of fasting.  

Starving Girl book trailer:

To see it on youtube, click here.

Staving Girl is available on Amazon or Kindle.

  

I birthed a book.

9 months to the day of when I started this book, I have uploaded it to CreateSpace.

I gave birth to this book on its 9-month due date.

January 3 to October 3.

The irony is so perfect.

Considering I’ve been intermittent fasting for 9 months, let’s do a little comparison on how writing a book about my experience with intermittent fasting has been much like a pregnancy.

It was harder than I thought it would be, but so worth it.

It was all consuming.

In the early stages of intermittent fasting, there were times I felt like I had morning sickness.  Pivots of hunger still make me feel nauseous. 

I’ve been surrounded by people who support me.

I had to pick a name (book title).

I couldn’t have done this alone.

I prayed daily for God’s help, understanding and support.

So, here it is. 

Per my editor’s suggestion, I have a different cover. 

I love how it turned out.

You'll have to read it to understand the significance of the pinecone.  

Today and tomorrow are dedicated to one last proof-read, then it will launch. 

I posted today on facebook:

I will post the Amazon and Kindle link as soon as it is available.

Searching for Courage

Today I need courage and want to ask for those of you who know and love me to pray for me.

I've already had a small army of loved ones rally around me, who support this book Starving Girl.  

Among many things, I recognize food addiction, combat the negative body image and negative self-talk I've battled my entire life and learn to stop procrastinating.  I learned how the difficult decisions in my life have shaped my greatest potential and that big dreams are only possible if I live in the present.  All while I lose weight.  Amazing.

I know it's no mistake for my story to come out in a memoir about a 30-day intermittent fast. Fasting is a story all on its own, a most fascinating secret that has incredible mental and spiritual power.  What a pleasure to not only experience fasting, but to research and write about it.

Breaking my food addiction finally allowed for the clarity of mind that I needed. As I make the final edits, add the last minute changes and ideas, I am overcome with this epic journey.  So many of my life experiences manifested in this 30-day fast.  I wrote the book in 30 days and it's taken me almost 9 months to make sure it sings like a beautiful song.  I've cried and rejoiced, tried to hide only to finally be found.  

Now, I must find the courage for that next step, to let my words out in the universe and trust I did the best I could not only for myself and my family, but for God.  After all, He is the one who designed the fast.

When I first felt impressed to practice 16-18 hour daily fasts for 30-days, I thought it was impossible.  Still, I knew I had to do it.  Around day 12, I became angry.  Time seemed to stand still.  My hunger became a nagging beast and I couldn’t understand why I was putting myself through this.   It took 3 days, but around day 15, my emotions were finally set free.  Food could no longer keep them bottled up.  With that freedom, I took on a determination I’ve never experienced.  I finally had the faith in myself that I would finish my commitment of the 30-day fast.

But what happened on day 26, I never expected.

I started crying.  How could I give it up?  My daily communion with God?  All the self-discovery?  Finally learning to love my body?  Experiencing the incredible power of prayer?  It was so good.  Still, I knew my 30-day orientation was coming to an end. 

The last day of my 30-day fast, I wrote:

It was the last day of my fast and I’d had some anxiety about letting go.  I knew everything would be fine, but the process of evolving had been amazing.  It had been life-changing to peck away at my outer shell the way a chick breaks itself out of an egg.  It’s the “breaking out” that develops coordination, strengthens muscle and builds the type of confidence that screams “I know I can do this!”  I would miss my own hatching, the ceremony of peck, peck, pecking as I broke away fears, discouragement and hopelessness.  What I told myself I could never do, I’d accomplished.  What I thought impossible was possible.  How did I not know the greatest experiences in life came from doing hard things? 

My hunger took on a whole new meaning.  I wrote:

While juggling the tasks of motherhood, I spent the day writing.  I pushed away the sorrow, the knowing my orientation was finished; my days of growth and self-realization would never be the same.  My initial reaction to fasting was to shade my eyes and look away, but I was now staring into the brightness and glowing.  Stepping away from such enormous growth felt like a loss.  I couldn’t believe the miracles God shared in my life.  I wanted Him that big, that present.  I wanted Him like the feeling of starving. It was all-consuming, inescapable, and He was what I starved for now.

Thank you for praying for me.  I can already feel like I’m ready to spread my wings and fly.

How I Learned About Ramadan

A few weeks ago, the counselor asked me out on a date.

I love when my husband asks me out on a date! 

He said, “Hey, do you want to go on a date with me?” 

I hesitated, just to flirt. 

This is really good for marriages, to still play a little hard to get.

“Ok,” I said, batting my eyelashes.  “Were do you want to go?”

Let me flashback for a moment.

When we were in Anaheim, California last December, we found the most amazing Middle Eastern restaurant and we ate there every day four days in a row.  The food, with the falafel, hummus, purple onion, olives, tabouli . . . Oh My Gosh!!!! We were in Anaheim to take the kids to Disneyland, but we walked out of the park every day to go to this amazing restaurant.  Let’s just say we’ve both been craving this delicious food every since. 

So, for our date, the counselor suggested we find the best Middle Eastern food in Phoenix.  And, he’d done his research.  When this man sets his mind to something, he follows through. 

Tempe, AZ has a restaurant called Princess Market and we were on our way.  We arrived around 6:45pm for dinner and found the restaurant quiet.  We walked up to the counter and the hostess suggested the buffet.  She escorted us to a wall of the most exquisite food; salad with feta and tomatoes, beautiful rice, meats, hummus, kabobs, roasted peppers and onions, tahini, and more.  The only caveat?  Dinner would not be served until sundown, around 7:30pm.  “Find a seat while you can,” she said. “It’s sure to be packed tonight.” 

The counselor and I looked around and besides the hostess and a few waiters, there was not another soul in sight.  Still, we found our seats, grabbed Canyon a high chair and sat back and waited. I’d been fasting for the day and although I was hungry, I felt a bit out of my element.  I wasn’t about to tell the hostess I’d been fasting and wanted to eat at this very moment. I’ve developed some self-control around food and have learned hunger does not mean starving.  I assumed the buffet was not ready because the chef had not brought out all the prepared food, but I was mistaken.  Something else was going on.  The counselor and I watched over the next 30 minutes as the restaurant filled up with families, couples and friend, all of Middle Eastern descent.  Many were wearing traditional Muslim apparel and I realized the counselor and I were the only couple not dressed as such.  All sat quietly until, not even the children spoke when at one defining moment, everyone got up, grabbed a plate and hustled to the buffet. 

The line was long and somebody bumped into me, spilling a warm orange soup down my leg, but whatever.  It reached in-between the toes of my sandals and I was walking in a squishy mess, but I wanted to eat. I have a baby so I'm used to eating in a somewhat turbulent environment, so it wasn’t something I don’t experience on a daily basis and let me tell you, the food was so worth the wait.  I sat down with a plate of food and that first bite was full of flavor and goodness.  The food was so good, we just made sounds like “eemmmm” and “yummmmm.”  We didn’t even speak.  I went back for seconds.  Canyon’s little hand continued to scoop up food I placed in front of him.  It was the most silent atmosphere I’ve ever eaten in, but just like the other customers, the counselor and I barely came up for air.  This primal environment was unusual, so when the waiter walked by, I had to ask “What’s going on here?” 

“It’s the month of Ramadan,” he said.  “Everybody has been fasting all day.”

Wait, what?  Fasting!!

“As part of our religions, we fast for 30 days from sun up to sun down,” he said and I could barely believe what I was hearing.  Fasting, religious fasting, a practice God told me to do for 30-days (although I’ve continued to do it now for over 6 months), an experience that has completely changed my life, that has made me more aware of the poor and those who go without, practice more self-control, be more grateful for what I have – all these beautiful people were experiencing the same thing.  Everybody was fasting!  I wanted to hug every single one of them.  I’ve never felt more validated.  Wow!  Fasting is awesome and these people get it. 

To learn more about Ramadan, click here.

When my belly was nice and full, I did a lot of people watching.  I watched as a mother helped her child, a couple sit in silence sipping tea, young men eating plate after plate of warm chicken and hummus and I was grateful and still quite shocked that I had the opportunity to observe and understand the beauty of this month-long religious holiday. 

My brother Sam recently went with Lifting Hands International to Greece and took food and supplies to the Syrian refugees.  

He too, had dinner with wonderful Muslim people and came home with more appreciation for who they are and what they are going through.  

The Opportunity to Pray

Last week I was in Flagstaff and we had a wonderful time.

While at the hotel, I saw the front page of the USA TODAY newspaper.  It read 20 Veterans a Day Commit Suicide.  

(USA Today photo credit)

I looked at that headline and just gasped. I put my hand to my mouth and felt the tears form in my eyes.  I know many military families and couldn’t image the hardship they go through, but suicide?  Contemplating a veteran’s life experiences, I considered the loneliness, the violence, the inability to see family for long periods of time, the fear, the unexpected, the tough decisions, etc.  My heart swelled with sorrow and wished there was a way I could help.  In the same breath, I thought of the courage and had immense gratitude for those who keep this country safe, for America’s freedom is not free.  I immediately considered my daily 16-hour intermittent fast, and as soon as I had a moment to myself, dropped to my knees and asked God to bless those who currently serve and those who have served in the past.

Fasting has changed me.  Before, I would have felt sad and maybe, if I remembered I would have said a pray for the veterans before falling to sleep, but most likely I would have moved on with taking care of my children; to kissing stubbed toes or combing hair after bath time.  Going without food is such a gentle reminder that I have a specific purpose that day to find someone or something to pray for.  

I spent the day, remembering and praying for our veterans when within 24 hours the story of our five fallen police officers hit the news.  

(NY TIMES photo credit)

I couldn’t believe the side-to-side tragedies.  I wasn’t even finished with the veterans.  I wanted another day to ponder my love and appreciation for them when I had another cause to pray and fast for.  Heartbroken, I dropped to my knees again, so deeply saddened with the violence and fear of the society in which we live, almost overcome with a feeling of hopelessness, I mean really, what can a prayer do, when I opened my mouth and spoke out loud to God.  As I asked God to protect the lives of police officers and those of Black Lives Matter, to help those who have lost loved ones, to change the hearts of those looking to inflict violence, to bless those hoping to help, to bring peace to those hurting I felt my heart swell with grace.  I knew God was aware of all those involved and His hand would mend and heal, encourage and teach, comfort and provide, and somehow God would make something good out of this.  That my beautiful black brothers and sisters and those who put their lives on the line every day will grow and heal and find answers that only God can provide. 

My first thirty days of fasting, I would pick one person a day to fast for.  First, my six children, my husband, my 8 siblings and their families, my parents, my neighbors, church leaders and those in my church in need.  Finally, I reached out to fasting for Barack Obama and others in leadership positions in our country.  I fasted for my home (literally for the walls, plumbing, electrical, structure, etc.), for those on facebook who popped on my feed, sometimes for strangers, sometimes for the husband of a friend of a friend, my neighbor’s mom battling cancer, my old college roommate who’s son has a brain tumor, the recent ex-husband of my friend and my friend who did not expect to wear the badge of widow so early in life.  I pray for unwed mothers, unplanned pregnancies and abortion doctors.  I pray for starving children, heartbroken parents and directors of orphanages.  I pray for those who are living and those who have died.  There’s no shortage of people to fast and pray for and I find it absolutely breathtaking.  I don’t know if it’s blessing them, if it’s changing them, but it’s changing me.  Some days I cry.  I just cry because I love that God grants me the privilege to speak with Him.  

Since fasting, I’ve become more aware, even alert that people all throughout the world go without food every single day.

So, what got me through my first true day of fasting?

Here I am November 2015, six weeks before I started my experience with intermittent fasting.

Desperate, the answer surprised me. 

After sending the kids off to school, I cleaned up the breakfast dishes when the first wave of hunger hit.  The hunger was an earth-moving force and I gripped onto the side of my kitchen counter.  My stomach felt like a black hole and there was soreness.  The actual muscle of my stomach ached, but nothing about the hunger made me crave food. 

Soon after, the first hunger pains subsided and I carried on with my day.  Dishes, laundry, and of course taking care of the most adorable baby ever when at 2:00pm I became hungry again; hunger like I’d never felt before.  The hunger felt like a monster growling from the inside out.  The sensation frightened me.  What was I doing?  Going without food didn't seem healthy.  Something was wrong with me when in my mind I cried out to God.

“Please, I need to eat.  I can’t do this, it’s too hard.”

“Not yet,” a voice in my mind said. 

“Then when can I eat,” I asked. 

“4:00pm,” the voice answered back.  

Two more hours without food? It didn’t seem possible.  I started to feel the weight of what I was doing.  Was this even safe?  The uninvited guest of self-doubt barged into my mind, reminding me of past failures.  Was this just another time to commit myself to something regarding food only to fail later?  Something inside me nudged back, something that was battling my self-doubt and I recognized it as the spirit of God.  

It said loud and clear:

“Do not be afraid of hunger.  You need to feel this.”

I knew I needed to fast, but the commitment felt like sugar running through my fingers.  In theory, fasting was a nice concept but actually playing it out wasn’t something I could do.  I couldn’t do it in the moment, let alone for 30 days.  I was in a kitchen full of food but there was nothing I could eat.  I had every food imaginable yet there I stood starving. 

“I’m starving,” I shouted in my mind when I felt the influence of someone.  It was a girl; a hungry girl.

I searched out this painting and the era of this beautiful girl somewhat resembled what I saw in my mind.

1800 Louis Leopold Boily (French painter, 1761-1845) Young Woman Ironing

Her presence came upon me quickly and there was an urgency to her arrival.  So insistent was she on gaining my attention, I spoke out loud to her.  “I know you’re here,” I said, startled I was speaking to a spirit.  So real was she, so very present was her influence I could see every detail.  In my mind I saw a tall blonde English girl with a light blue apron tied to her thin waist and a kerchief wrapped around her mousy blonde hair.  She was poor and desperate.  She was starving and through her expression and physical appearance, I could see her pain.

She needed to tell me something, but could only do it through prayer.  “Yes, I’m going,” I said kindly to her as I rushed in my room and fell to my knees.  She wanted me on my knees.  I understood and started crying because I knew she was hungry.  She’d been hungry for a long time and my own hunger became insignificant. 

“I’m sorry,” I said to her.  “I didn’t understand what it meant to be hungry.  I didn’t understand what you went through; what you suffered for me, for my mother and grandmothers.” 
            In my mind, she was holding a bucket and stood by a well.  She was worried and weak.  There was no other option for her and in my heart; I felt she knew her fate.  She wouldn’t make it.  She’d seen loved ones die; her pain had been real and great.  I imagined for a second what it must have been like to be literally starving when in my mind I saw myself attending a wedding reception.  Wearing a tight dress, I was uncomfortable because I’d eaten too much food.  Although I was too full to eat, I’d helped myself to a second piece of wedding cake.  Using my finger, I slopped a glob of frosting onto my tongue and quickly forced it down.  I didn’t take the time to taste it and wasn’t present enough to appreciate it, but I went and took another bite anyway.  Another smudge of frosting with another subconscious swallow and I had downed the entire cake.  With the presence of this starving ancestor watching me in her desperate condition, I felt sick. 

I’d been so selfish.  I was a selfish person who for years ate food without a thought to those who went without.  I thought I understood the poor, but I didn't.  Food, no matter the quantity, time of day, or needs of others was to be put in my mouth as fast as I could get it there?  When had that happened?  Why was I stuffing myself with food when others had little or none?  I felt like a drunken king with a greasy turkey leg and a dripping glass of wine all the while demanding more food.  How many plates had I filled with food only to later throw away?  Hundreds?  Thousands?  Such a pitiful act was not right.  I had no idea how hurtful this might be to someone who was starving.  There had to be some validation for those who went without. 

I needed to feel how my ancestors felt when they were starving. They were not able to self indulge every time they had a craving.  They had to work for what they ate and they had to feel hunger pains when there wasn’t any food. The experience made me so sick at myself, the very thought of food made me dry heave.  Never had the feeling of hunger screamed so loudly at me.

The message came clear as sunlight breaking through a rain cloud.  I needed to feel hunger.  I needed to feel comfortable being hungry.  Hunger need not rule me.  I was to rule hunger.  I had more power than hunger.  More importantly, I was to deeply feel the physical symptoms of hunger; the rumbling of the stomach, the fizz in the brain, the fatigue in the bones, the mental awareness that food was not an option – I needed to feel this for those who lived with hunger, those who died hungry – even starved to death.  I could feel them all around me.  I had ancestors in my genealogical line that had lived with hunger and had died because of it. They were with me.

  A starving girl in a house full of food knows she’s not really starving, she just thinks she is.  Through fasting, the suffering of others has become very real to me.  I fast for 16 – 18 hours and then get to eat, but some people go without food and are uncertain where their next meal will come from.  

Starving sisters sitting on the pavement in the Warsaw ghetto, Poland. The small girl died after one week

The picture was taken by Heinz ., a German soldier (Wehrmacht) posted in the Warsaw area in 1941.

Going without food is a humbling experience and for me, it’s a necessary reminder to pray for the poor, give a generous fast offering (money to help feed the poor) and be humble in the blessings I’ve been given.  

No longer do I say "I'm starving."  It's sacrilegious to those who truly are suffering.  Instead I say, "I'm hungry" or "I'm ready to eat." 

Intermittent fasting and prayer is the first time in my life eating has nothing to do with losing weight or body image.  It is about praying for others and having gratitude for the blessings in my life.  It is absolutely glorious.  I sing praises to the creator of the fast, it truly is inspiring.  

Easter 2016 and I've been practicing intermittent fasting for 80+ days.

Intermittent fasting – How to Start

Hi, let me introduce you to my food crutches.

Because I’d grown up fasting, I was accustomed to the pattern of skipping two consecutive meals on day a month. Although difficult, most fast Sundays I’d at least attempted to fast. I can only think of one time I actually did it 100%.

January 3, 2016, was only going to be another attempt to complete a fast I when I felt impressed I should fast for another 30 days. Yes, I questioned my sanity more then once.

January 4, 2016 was an interesting day for me. Other than 100% committed to fasting, I had no idea what I was doing. After getting the kids off to school, I cleaned up the breakfast dishes when the first wave of hunger hit. The hunger was an earth-moving force and I gripped onto the side of my kitchen counter. I thought the hunger from the day before was tough, but this was a whole new level. My stomach felt like a black hole and there was soreness. The actual muscle of my stomach ached, but nothing about the hunger made me crave food. I didn’t feel desperate. I didn’t feel out of control. I felt surprisingly in control. I felt present and accountable when I felt in my heart should pick two grapefruit from my tree, juice them and drink.

Grapefruit juice became my first of three food crutches.

On January 5, 2016 I stumbled out of bed dizzy and lightheaded.  I held onto the wall as I walked into my daughter’s room.  The sky was dark as night and I could hear the rain pouring down on the roof.  Barely able to move, I started boiling some water for mint tea.  I took some aspirin and once the kids left for school laid back down.  The baby awoke and with the little energy I had, we played on the floor with his toys.  I’m not sure what was going on.  Either I was having a strange detox or I had the worst cold in the history of mankind.  

At this point, I did what I could to manage a little self-evaluation:

Self:  Are you ok?

Self:  Are you going crazy?

Self:  Do you need to eat?

Self, clearly and confidently said back to me: “No, I am fine.  Keep fasting.”

The spirit whispered “You crave sweet foods when you want something sweet out of life.  Fill yourself with the sweetness of the spirit of the Lord.” 

With the little energy I had, I opened my scriptures and read.  For the first time in my life, the scriptures literally came alive.  What I’d read time and time again felt brand new.  So startled was I by the beauty of the words and the profound importance of their message, I started reading the scriptures out loud.  I had to repeat passages over and over again, amazed at the understanding.  I’d heard to feast and hunger after righteousness, but I never expected the words to literally fill me up.  They did. 

January 6, 2016 introduced me to my second food crutch.  I was still very sick with my cold, but at least could manage caring for Canyon while the other kids were at school.  I felt impressed to drink some hot chicken broth.  I called my sweet mom and asked her to bring some over.  I drank the piping hot liquid and let it sooth my throat.  The taste was a salty confection of flavor.  Never had liquid tasted so good.

Chicken broth became my second food crutch.

From that day forward, I had grapefruit juice first thing in the morning and chicken broth around noon.

January 8, 2016 - Although I struggled throughout the day with hunger, it never affected my energy level.  I didn’t feel tired, I felt invigorated.  I wasn’t sure how that could happen without food in my belly, but it did.  There were many things I was starting to notice while fasting like greater mental awareness.  My temperament toward my children when the argued and were contentious was more mild.  I could talk to them about how they felt without projecting my own disappointment and frustration.  Many times I felt like an observer in my home, like I was elevated above the chaos.  I reflected on what was happening around me and made quick and accurate mental assessments before reacting.  I didn’t feel the pressure of time because hunger kept me present.  I was living in the moment and could focus on the current crisis with my best self.  I also found an interesting confidence in what I was doing.  My newly-learned self-discipline quieted the voices in my head that before were constantly putting pressure on me.  No longer did I feel I was missing out on a greater purpose – all the “if only” moments that kept me from living the life I was experiencing to wanting the live the life I couldn’t seem to acquire.  My purpose was here, in my home, with my kids and I was to fast at this very moment.  I was journaling every day, reading my scriptures and praying.  A part of myself I thought was gone forever started peaking her head around the corner, making herself present.  No longer did I fight the mental energy to judge my time management or tasks of the day.  I was doing what was most important and my mental “naysayers” had nothing to say about that. The present hunger kept them shushed!

While working in the kitchen, I opened my cupboard and put my hand on a bag of Green Smoothie Girl protein powder.  I just stood there, staring at the bag when I realized what I was touching.  “I should have some of that,” I felt in my heart so I boiled some water and put a scoop into it.  Green Smoothie Girl protein powder is raw, vegan, organic and sprouted – and it tastes really good, especially when you’re fasting.

Green Smoothie Girl protein powder became my third food crutch.

To recap, my first three weeks consisted of the following:

First thing in the morning: two citrus, either juiced or eaten.  I did fluctuate between oranges and grapefruit.

10:00am: 1 scoop protein powder in boiling water.  Boiling water made me sip my drink, which really made it enjoyable and last longer.

1:00pm:  Boiling chicken broth.  Some days I drank an entire quart. 

4:00pm:  I broke my fast with prayer and opened the scriptures to see what God wanted to impress upon my heart.

Once I broke my fast for the day, I felt impressed to not follow any food plan.  I used common sense and because my stomach began shrinking, I could only eat about 1/3 of what I usually ate. 

On my next blog post, I’ll share how I learned because of my food crutches I was not really doing intermittent fasting, but then later I learned my food crutches were essential to starting a long-term true intermittent fast.  I’m telling you, this journey has had a lot of twists and turns; all directed by a loving Father in Heaven.  

Come see me speak on intermittent fasting March 12, 2016 at the Christ-centered Energy Healing Conference in Mesa AZ.  More information here.

If you have a question about my journey with intermittent fasting, please leave your question below or on my facebook page here.

Without food, who am I?

On Sunday January 3, 2016 I did something I hadn’t done in two decades.  I fasted.

As a Mormon, my Christian faith encouraged me to fast one day a month and abstain from eating for two consecutive meals, a task I’d ignored for 20 years.  Little did I know God had a surprise for me.  He wanted me to experience the same type of fast for 30 more days. 

30 days!!!

For 30-days I skipped breakfast and lunch and ate dinner at 4:00pm.

At first, I didn’t know what I was doing.  Going without food was like walking into a jungle with no guide or compass.  I stumbled and felt lost, but I knew what I was feeling was truth.  Fasting was a physical experience with a spiritual purpose and God’s presence in my life became immediate and all-encompassing.  I knew why I needed to fast.  I’d become emotionally passive and after having my last of six kids, I was ready to let myself go. 

Loving my sixth baby Canyon days after he was born.

I'd taken on a laissez-faire approach to life.  

Where I’d once been stalwart and determined I was a now a victim with a withering self-esteem.

Something needed to change in my life or I was going to slowly age into the sunset with all the benefits of obesity and poor health.  Fasting for 30 days was my gift, my necessary journey of high-seas and low-tides.  Some days, even moments I was elated while other times I felt like banging my head against the wall.  With all the spiritual benefits of fasting, I knew change wouldn’t come easy.  Change was painful, especially waking up from the ugly nap of denial and facing what years and years of complacency looked like.  Fasting was a tool a loving Father in Heaven created to help me remember who I was.

My husband has been such a support.

Without food to help me cope with my everyday emotions, on day 12 of my fast, I hit a wall.

Here’s an expert from my memoir Starving Girl of what I experienced:

Day 12 - I spent most of the day at home doing what I did – cleaning, laundry, caretaking, garbage collecting and I was somebody I didn’t wanted to be around.  There was a chip on my shoulder (unfortunately nothing I could eat), a grudge building in my heart that rang loud like an alarm, but unfortunately it wasn’t louder then the empty pit of hunger screaming back at me.  The hunger magnified all my emotions.  I knew I was hungry and I knew it was the emotional reasons I wanted to eat and I was mad as a bankrupt millionaire.  I missed the comfort of food, the way I could suck on a piece of chocolate or whip of a batch of cookies when I was bored or sad or scared.  I missed the impulsive eating where I could eat without giving it a second thought.  I missed the warmth of food, the punch of flavor and the freedom of moving my mouth.  I missed the escape and liberation.  I wanted food for unexplainable reasons – to feel like a kid again, to feel like a grown up, to feel safe, to feel cared for - to feel, to feel, to feel!  Without food, I had to feel everything!!!  I wanted to explode. In my mind I envisioned lacing up boxing gloves.  Punch, PUNCH I hit at my emotional punching bag.  Harder, harder and in my mind my body was sweating out the anger. The girl in my head growled loud and louder while hitting away at an almost disintegrated punching bag.  I showed it!  That punching bag had nothing on me!  I was starving!! I was starving, when my inner voice shouting at me “It’s not about the food!”

“What are you starving for?” I screamed back at myself in my mind.  “What is it you want!!”

The girl with the boxing gloves, exasperated, finally collapsed and breathed heavy while she collected her thoughts, but before long she was screaming back at me.

“I’m starving for life!  I’m starving to do something big, to reach beyond myself and not hold myself back any more.  I want to live.  I want my dreams!! I want what I know I can be.”

I knew it!  I wasn’t starving for food but something much, much bigger.  Food couldn’t even touch what I was starving for.  Food had nothing to do with it. 

Food had nothing do to with the hunger brewing inside me!

Food was actually holding me back.  Food controlled me.

Without fasting, I would have never learned this.

I knew I was overweight; I knew most days I hated my body but I didn’t know I had a food addiction until I started fasting. 

While researching food addiction, these particular questions made me realize how big of a problem I had:

Do you pray and ask God to help you with your weight, and then feel your prayers aren’t answered?

Do you find yourself eating when you are upset or reward yourself with food when you do something good?

Have you tried different diets or weight loss programs, but none has worked permanently?

At times fasting another day seemed impossible, but the blessings that came into my life were far greater than the hardship of going without food.  God knows all and He created a perfect system to overcoming the trials of obesity and food-addiction – that gift is fasting.

 After 30 days of fasting, I decided to keep going.

Now, my friends, I am going to ask for a gift from you.  I have a 200-page memoir I’ve written about my experience. If you think something I have to say can benefit you or someone you love, please share my blog posts on social media via facebook (click here to like my facebook page), instagram (lalalofgreen) or pinterest, etc. The only way I’m going to get the attention of an agent is by building my readership.  Please help my posts on intermittent fasting go viral.  I have so much more to share. 

Also, feel free to add comments with questions on my blog or facebook page and I will do my best to answer them on my next post. 

Never did I think I would conquer my food addiction and low self-worth and I have a long journey in front of me, but God knew obesity would be an epidemic in our day.  I truly feel intermittent fasting with prayer and an honest fast offering is the answer.  It's free and it's free-ing.  Research intermittent fasting and see if it is right for you. My favorite lecture is by Dr. Mike Lara and can be found by clicking here.  

Over the next few weeks, I will share what worked for me but your fast may be different from mine.  My brother fasts 7pm to 7am Monday through Friday and then does a 16-hour fast on Sunday.  My mom fasts until noon on weekdays and doesn’t fast over the weekend.  My other brother has given up energy drinks.  The point is to make your fast intentional.   Sacrifice something physical not only for your spiritual growth, but to pray for someone else in need.  Fasting is the answer to helping those in need.  It creates a greater awareness in us to think of others.  God will let you know your specific fast.

Intermittent Fasting is Liberating While Dieting Creates Victims

Through out my life I’ve struggled to lose weight, but looking back I see weight loss wasn’t my problem.  It was body image.

Look at me on my wedding day.  

Sorry, I just had to throw this one in for fun!

But, seriously, should this beautiful bride be worried about how fat she is?

But I was.  Although beautiful and meaningful, much of my wedding day was dominated by negative thoughts in my mind about my body and appearance.

Once I started having children, I really did need to lose weight but the negative thoughts in my mind, the “you can’t do it” or “start tomorrow” made it impossible to lose weight permanently.  Through the years, I developed a food addiction where I needed to eat what I wanted, when I wanted or I wasn’t happy.

In 2010, after I had my fifth child.

I remember years early staring in the mirror, shocked by my appearance.  I said to my loving husband, “The fat girl I see in the mirror is not the real me.  The girl I see in my mind is stuck behind all the fat.  Why can’t I get her to come out?’ 

Throughout my life, dieting had been a game for losers. I would pity myself, convinced going without certain foods was too hard; as if something awful was really happening to me. 

Diets made me self-absorbed.

Dieting was an ungrateful delusion.  “Poor me, I have to eat salad and sweet potatoes and asparagus when what I really want is cookie dough.” 

What was that?  There wasn’t a single thing about that situation that should have made me feel sorry for myself.  My body was screaming for healthy food, but my emotional cravings were begging to be fed too.  Wrapped up in pride and personal sabotage, my emotional cravings convinced me I was only in charge if I gave into every impulse at any time. “That’s freedom, that’s the dream,” my self-absorbed self said. 

When did I learn I could only be happy with no restrictions ever?  That certainly wasn’t God’s plan.  He gave commandments to keep His children safe.  What about food commandments?  Food had become my false idol.  The results were my body carrying 60 extra pounds.   My poor meager inability to solve this problem made me a victim. 

As a victim I had a “get out of jail free” card.

I had every justifiable excuse in the book.  It was Christmas, it was my birthday, we were on vacation, other people ate what they wanted, my metabolism was off, I’d just had a baby and on and on and on. 

Procrastination sped up time.  I felt constantly rushed and irritable. 

I was putting off the inevitable, forcing myself to live outside today and into tomorrow.  As the victim I lost hope, but what if the victim and the perpetrator were the same person?  We see this scenario manifest itself all the time in self-defeating behavior.  That was me, victim and perpetrator; hence the inner dialogue I couldn’t seem to escape.  If my perverted thinking wasn’t from God, where did it from?  What was the root of fear, doubt and delusion?  It certainly couldn’t grow from faith and love when I decided to study the 40-day fast of Jesus Christ. 

After Jesus was baptized, he went into the wilderness to fast and prepare for His mission.  Alone, he fasted for 40 days and 40 nights.  

I thought about the “alone-ness” of fasting as it could be a very lonely experience.  At times I could feel the world spinning and moving around me, yet I wasn’t participating.  Without the tastes of the world on my tongue, I felt on the sidelines watching the game.  Without food, much of the goodness of the earth could not be experienced.  On the other hand, fasting allowed the understanding of “being in the world but not of the world.”  At times, I felt elevated.  The normal cares of my life – being upset over meaningless things seemed silly to what others were experiencing. Those who went without food were present in my mind. No longer did I feel impulses to self-indulge and satisfy my every desire when those around me were suffering.  Being lonely also allowed for self-revelation.  Near the end of his fast, Satan came to tempt Jesus.  The Savior’s body was weak but his spirit was mighty.  

The first thing Satan tempted Jesus to do was turn stones into bread.  Satan was a fool for thinking something so temporal could remotely tempt Christ.  Jesus said “Man shall not live by bread alone, but by the word of God.”  When the spirit carried Jesus to the top of the temple, Satan tempted Jesus to jump and call on the angels of heaven to catch him.  Jesus told Satan not to tempt the Son of God.  Jesus was a master of the fast, He knew who He was but Satan tried again to tempt him.  When Jesus was a top a mountain overlooking all the lands and people of the earth Satan tried to convince Jesus to worship him by promising Him all the power of the world.  Really, did Satan think Jesus would even care about what he had to offer?  Satan was a liar.  I considered the lies Satan had feed me.  He had controlled me for too long.  Just as Jesus had showed, Satan could have no power over me unless I believed him; unless I allowed it.

During my 30-day fast, I learned to break the chains of deception I’d convinced myself were true.  I could do this.  I could have food commandments and limit what I put in my body.  I was in control.  God had made my body perfect and I needed to be grateful for it. 

After 30 days of fasting, I lost 12 pounds.  

I have now been practicing intermittent fasting for 50 days and will not weigh myself again until my next 30-day milestone.  I skip breakfast and lunch and eat dinner at 4:00pm.  I drink plenty of fluids too and have no food restrictions after my fast.  More important than my weight-loss, I marvel at the things I’ve learned about myself, food and my relationship with God.  I pray for those in need and turn to God for help and instruction.  I’ve never felt more like a daddy’s girl.  Truly, we are children of God and I know it like I’ve never understood before. 

How did I learn to stop shaming food?

How did I survive the hunger?

Did I incorporate exercise?

How is fasting not only physical, but spiritual?

How long do I plan to fast?

These, and more are topics I will answer in the upcoming blog posts.  Writing about this experience has been amazing.  I am currently seeking a publisher for my memoir:

Starving Girl – a perpetual dieter’s 30-day experience with the miracle of intermittent fasting and the unorthodox answers she received about overcoming food addiction.

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