Intermittent fasting – 5 months later

I wrote my memoir Starving Girl – my 30-day experience with the miracle of intermittent fasting in 30 days. 

Every day, I took time to journal how I felt about what I was doing, the challenges, rewards and impressions.  I wrote about hunger, body image and overcoming negative self-talk.  I was in uncharted territories, I mean me, the girl who loved eating and had been overweight most of her life was going without food for 16 hours a day and writing about it.  I was no expert on fasting, prayer or weight-loss.  All I knew about fasting was what I’d been taught by my Christian parents as a child: on the first Sunday of every month our family skipped two consecutive meals.  The money saved from not eating the two meals was given to the poor.  We were intentional about our fast, praying for those in our family or community in need of help.  With this concept, I was going to fast for 30 days, meaning skipping two meals a day.  I skipped breakfast and lunch and would eat from 4:00pm to bedtime.  Before bed, I’d kneel in prayer and start my fast for the next day.  Why?  This may be difficult to believe, but it was because God told me to.  I fasted on Sunday January 3, 2016, my typical best-effort once-a-month fast when I felt impressed to fast for 30 days.  I was told it would change my life and my life needed a lot of changing. 

At first, I tried to talk myself out of it.  Why would I feel impressed to do such a thing?  Was fasting for 30 days even healthy?  My once-a month attempts at fasting were pretty pathetic and usually resulted in either sneaking something to eat or having a bad attitude and complaining about how difficult it was.  Truth was I didn’t want to fast for 30-days, but throughout my life, through miracle after miracle and blessing after blessing, I’d learned to recognize God’s voice.  I couldn’t deny the inspiration to fast for 30 days came from Him.  He’s the boss.  I couldn’t live with myself if I didn’t follow through with what I’d been instructed to do. Even on the most difficult days, even when hunger made me nauseous or when there was chocolate chip cookie dough right in front of me, I carried on. With God right by my side, quitting was never an option.

While fasting, I learned things about myself I didn’t know before like:

I learned I had a food addiction. 

I realized I had a negative body image and talked down to myself because I felt fat.

Although I thought I was grateful for food, I learned most of the time I resented food and blamed it for most of my problems.

I’d exaggerated my relationship with food.  When I thought I was starving, I learned there were people in the world who were truly hungry; even starving.

I didn’t realize how much food I had wasted throughout my life until I went without food. 

I lived in a constant state of either procrastination or rush and was never settled with myself.

Even with God at my side, fasting for 30 days was one of the most difficult things I’d ever done, but it was also one of the most rewarding.

The rewards were the following:

I was able to stop the negative self-talk in my mind.

I overcame my food addiction.

I developed a habit of praying every day, even multiple times a day for those in need.

I turned to the sweetness of the scriptures when I craved sweets.

I stopped wasting food.

I learned hunger was not something to fear or despise, but to turn to gratitude.

I became aware of my ancestors, those who’d lived before me who had gone hungry and was incredibly grateful for them.

I developed true empathy for the poor and prayed for them throughout the day.

I was able to give the money I saved while fasting to the poor.

I developed a relationship with God that literally brought me to tears.

I learned I am a child of God and I believe it whole-heartedly.

I learned to live in the moment.

Oh, I almost forgot because it’s not as significant as the other rewards - I lost 12 pounds.

After my 30-day experience, I continued fasting because not only had I learned to love it, but I discovered a term called intermittent fasting.  Believe it or not, what I was doing was healthy and promoted by many doctors and researchers.  Intermittent fasting concludes there is a pattern to eating and the body runs more efficiently when it consumes its daily calories in an 8-hour eating window.  I believe it is not promoted like it should be because nobody makes any money off it.  Intermittent fasting is free.

I continued editing my memoir; adding additional insights, stories and impressions.  It is now in the hands of a very talented miracle-working editor.

I just finished my fifth month of fasting.  My memoir is done and hopefully will be up on Amazon in the next month.  I’ll have a book launch on my blog soon, but I’ve learned so much more about fasting then what you’ll find in the first book.  The rewards keep on coming, as does the weight-loss so I’ve decided to start book 2 of Starving Girl.  Because I plan on practicing intermittent fasting for a year, I may also write a book 3 of Starving Girl. 

For many people, the most interesting part of intermittent fasting is the weight-loss.  Dieting is a billion dollar industry and people are desperate to get those unwanted pounds off.  I get this because dieting was the focus of my life every since I was a teenager.  That’s right, for 30 years I’ve fought this demon.  I will share my numbers, although I do this with one caveat:  fasting has changed my life because of the spiritual and emotional benefits, not because of the number on the scale.  I weight myself at my doctor’s office, as I do not keep a scale in my home.  I will not give the glory to the scale, but to my Heavenly Father.

 Before intermittent fasting:

After five-months of intermittent fasting:

I’ve lost 30 pounds, dropped two dress sizes and am running 2 miles a day.  I’ve incorporated a lot more exercise into my life because I love it and my body is lighter and stronger.  If it wasn’t for the spiritual growth, awareness and empathy I’ve developed, I don’t know if I would have ever learned to commit to a healthy eating plan, but this is it for me.  Intermittent fasting is amazing and now, it’s pretty easy.  I rarely feel hungry while fasting.  Prayer is essential, as is scripture study and giving to the poor.

I started a conversation on facebook about intermittent fasting and there were some haters.  Out of maybe 100 positive comments, 3 people voiced negative concerns.  I was told I was anorexic (yea, right!), needed therapy and should not be promoting intermittent fasting because I’m not a doctor or dietician.  Several people involved in the discussion defended intermittent fasting and voiced they had been advised by their doctor to practice the same thing.  Despite my insecurities, I combated the negativity pretty well and only wallowed for about a month.  I wondered if I should I keep my journey private, but when I was told to fast for 30 days, I was also told to write about my experience so I’ll share my story with the greatest of hopes to help others who struggle with the same issues.  You should talk to your doctor if you're considering trying it.  I'm ever so thankful for God's law of the fast.

Food, stop lying to me.

Dear food,

I appreciate you, I really do.  I know I can’t live without you.  I know you have a purpose in my life and I acknowledge you feed every pulse in my body, that without you I wouldn’t grow and heal and survive.  Thank you.  I live a very comfortable life and have you in excess.  You influence is everywhere.  Problem is, you’ve over stepped your bounds.

I let it happen.  I invited you in when I was lonely and you definitely filled the void.  For much of my life I’ve had a great need to have you near.  You’ve satisfied the artist in me, the bored child in me and the irrational starving girl.  Your beauty, in all your textures, smells and colors, mesmerized me.  Truly, you satisfy like nothing else.

You’ve been the life of my party for decades.  You throw the best parties, even when no one else is there but you and me.  Without saying a word, you speak of desire, passion and hunger.  You are more powerful then I realized, making me realize you may not be the best influence in my life.

The problem is you’re a control freak.  You want to be present in every aspect of my life and although I appreciate you, I really do, I need to take a step back.  You’re the nagging know-it-all who thinks you have all the answers.  Once you came over, you never left and you’ve been grazing uncontrollably in my life ever since  You beautiful in small quantities, but the way you insist on getting bigger and bigger is unhealthy and quite honestly, rude.  

More people then I can count go without you and they suffer.  Why don’t you go spend some time with them?  I’m not the only person on the planet, you know.  So many other people need you more then I do.

Food, please go back to your roots.  Remember where you came from.  You were born out of necessity from the rich soils of the earth.  You feed animals, plants and little biddy insects.  Organically, you are at your best. Covered in preservatives and hormones, you’ve become the equivalent to an aging super-model who’s had too much plastic surgery.  You’re beautiful as you are; pure and nutritious.  I don’t need you to change to appeal to me. 

Stop lying to me.  I trust you, especially when I’m hungry.  Stop trying to sell yourself as a single-serving size when you’re not.  Please stop asking me if I want you super-sized.  Your constant badgering sets me up for failure.  If you’d stop screaming for even a single second, I’d be able to hear my own guttural survival instincts.  Stop shouting you’re sugar-free when what you really are is full of aspartame, solidified corn syrup or some other unpronounceable concoction.  If you can’t read your own ingredients, do not try to pass yourself off as food. 

It’s one thing to take advantage of me, but now that you have my kid’s attention I’m ticked. 

Stop singing to them, appealing to them through sprinkles, Disney characters and pop-culture.  Your tactics are sick and I see right through your money-hungry paws.  You're brainwashing them into believing eating the worst of you is better then eating the best of you.  Get your greedy hands away from my kids.

There are so many things I love about you, but no longer can you control me.  It’s just not healthy.  I don't need you like I once did.  I have so many beautiful things in my life. I no longer need you to find purpose.  I will invite you in when necessary.  When you are good and whole, you have a place at my table, otherwise, go away and don’t come back.  I don’t need to pay for your dysfunctional habits anymore.

Sincerely,

Laura Lofgreen

P.S.

Do not think you can sneak up on me and sweet talk your way back into my life.  I have a grapefruit tree and I’m not afraid to use it.

P.S.S
I'm disgusted your influence kept me swollen and fat.  90-days of intermittent fasting and I have the privilege of putting my wedding ring back on again.  Nothing tastes as good as that.

Without food, who am I?

On Sunday January 3, 2016 I did something I hadn’t done in two decades.  I fasted.

As a Mormon, my Christian faith encouraged me to fast one day a month and abstain from eating for two consecutive meals, a task I’d ignored for 20 years.  Little did I know God had a surprise for me.  He wanted me to experience the same type of fast for 30 more days. 

30 days!!!

For 30-days I skipped breakfast and lunch and ate dinner at 4:00pm.

At first, I didn’t know what I was doing.  Going without food was like walking into a jungle with no guide or compass.  I stumbled and felt lost, but I knew what I was feeling was truth.  Fasting was a physical experience with a spiritual purpose and God’s presence in my life became immediate and all-encompassing.  I knew why I needed to fast.  I’d become emotionally passive and after having my last of six kids, I was ready to let myself go. 

Loving my sixth baby Canyon days after he was born.

I'd taken on a laissez-faire approach to life.  

Where I’d once been stalwart and determined I was a now a victim with a withering self-esteem.

Something needed to change in my life or I was going to slowly age into the sunset with all the benefits of obesity and poor health.  Fasting for 30 days was my gift, my necessary journey of high-seas and low-tides.  Some days, even moments I was elated while other times I felt like banging my head against the wall.  With all the spiritual benefits of fasting, I knew change wouldn’t come easy.  Change was painful, especially waking up from the ugly nap of denial and facing what years and years of complacency looked like.  Fasting was a tool a loving Father in Heaven created to help me remember who I was.

My husband has been such a support.

Without food to help me cope with my everyday emotions, on day 12 of my fast, I hit a wall.

Here’s an expert from my memoir Starving Girl of what I experienced:

Day 12 - I spent most of the day at home doing what I did – cleaning, laundry, caretaking, garbage collecting and I was somebody I didn’t wanted to be around.  There was a chip on my shoulder (unfortunately nothing I could eat), a grudge building in my heart that rang loud like an alarm, but unfortunately it wasn’t louder then the empty pit of hunger screaming back at me.  The hunger magnified all my emotions.  I knew I was hungry and I knew it was the emotional reasons I wanted to eat and I was mad as a bankrupt millionaire.  I missed the comfort of food, the way I could suck on a piece of chocolate or whip of a batch of cookies when I was bored or sad or scared.  I missed the impulsive eating where I could eat without giving it a second thought.  I missed the warmth of food, the punch of flavor and the freedom of moving my mouth.  I missed the escape and liberation.  I wanted food for unexplainable reasons – to feel like a kid again, to feel like a grown up, to feel safe, to feel cared for - to feel, to feel, to feel!  Without food, I had to feel everything!!!  I wanted to explode. In my mind I envisioned lacing up boxing gloves.  Punch, PUNCH I hit at my emotional punching bag.  Harder, harder and in my mind my body was sweating out the anger. The girl in my head growled loud and louder while hitting away at an almost disintegrated punching bag.  I showed it!  That punching bag had nothing on me!  I was starving!! I was starving, when my inner voice shouting at me “It’s not about the food!”

“What are you starving for?” I screamed back at myself in my mind.  “What is it you want!!”

The girl with the boxing gloves, exasperated, finally collapsed and breathed heavy while she collected her thoughts, but before long she was screaming back at me.

“I’m starving for life!  I’m starving to do something big, to reach beyond myself and not hold myself back any more.  I want to live.  I want my dreams!! I want what I know I can be.”

I knew it!  I wasn’t starving for food but something much, much bigger.  Food couldn’t even touch what I was starving for.  Food had nothing to do with it. 

Food had nothing do to with the hunger brewing inside me!

Food was actually holding me back.  Food controlled me.

Without fasting, I would have never learned this.

I knew I was overweight; I knew most days I hated my body but I didn’t know I had a food addiction until I started fasting. 

While researching food addiction, these particular questions made me realize how big of a problem I had:

Do you pray and ask God to help you with your weight, and then feel your prayers aren’t answered?

Do you find yourself eating when you are upset or reward yourself with food when you do something good?

Have you tried different diets or weight loss programs, but none has worked permanently?

At times fasting another day seemed impossible, but the blessings that came into my life were far greater than the hardship of going without food.  God knows all and He created a perfect system to overcoming the trials of obesity and food-addiction – that gift is fasting.

 After 30 days of fasting, I decided to keep going.

Now, my friends, I am going to ask for a gift from you.  I have a 200-page memoir I’ve written about my experience. If you think something I have to say can benefit you or someone you love, please share my blog posts on social media via facebook (click here to like my facebook page), instagram (lalalofgreen) or pinterest, etc. The only way I’m going to get the attention of an agent is by building my readership.  Please help my posts on intermittent fasting go viral.  I have so much more to share. 

Also, feel free to add comments with questions on my blog or facebook page and I will do my best to answer them on my next post. 

Never did I think I would conquer my food addiction and low self-worth and I have a long journey in front of me, but God knew obesity would be an epidemic in our day.  I truly feel intermittent fasting with prayer and an honest fast offering is the answer.  It's free and it's free-ing.  Research intermittent fasting and see if it is right for you. My favorite lecture is by Dr. Mike Lara and can be found by clicking here.  

Over the next few weeks, I will share what worked for me but your fast may be different from mine.  My brother fasts 7pm to 7am Monday through Friday and then does a 16-hour fast on Sunday.  My mom fasts until noon on weekdays and doesn’t fast over the weekend.  My other brother has given up energy drinks.  The point is to make your fast intentional.   Sacrifice something physical not only for your spiritual growth, but to pray for someone else in need.  Fasting is the answer to helping those in need.  It creates a greater awareness in us to think of others.  God will let you know your specific fast.