I’m not sure how many times
I’ve sat down to write my story about sexual abuse. I start
a page, maybe finish a chapter and 6 years ago I wrote an entire 300 page
novel. That first novel was fiction, of course,
but the story was about me. I’m there in
every page.
From day to day, my motive
changes. One day I want to write for
healing; another day I want to write to help others and some days I want to
write to explore. But, every day I can’t
help what I write; for writing has been
most healing and I have to let it carry me where it wants.
What do I want to share? What will help other people suffering the
most? Could my story prevent others from
being hurt? Can I do it?
As I get older, I’m so
impressed with people who share their unique challenges and trials; their hurts
and fears cupped with spoonfuls of hope.
My favorite books of 2014 include A
House in the Sky by Amanda Lindhout
My
Story by Elizabeth Smart
and Finding
Me by Michelle Knight.
The
heartache and fear; the horror and despair, but these girls found a
way through there abuse. They over came in such a triumphant
way, their courage and faith like fireworks during a thunderstorm. These girls are my hero’s and I strongly
recommend these memoirs to anyone.
I’m finally at a place where
my past no longer hurts me. It’s been
this way for a couple of years now. This
is because of my Savior, Jesus Christ and also because of the tender, nurturing
love of my husband. My story now feels
just like that – a story. Some days,
it’s even easy to forget that scared hopeless girl was me. In many ways I’ve overcome, but almost every
angle of my character has been built on my struggles of overcoming.
Where I was once vulnerable,
I’m now acutely aware.
Because I was hurt, I’m now
able to see the hurt in others.
The loneliness I once felt serves
as a constant source of gratitude; for I never forget the blessings that
surround me.
I’ve always been happy; that
was one element not taken away from me; but now I’m happy deep down to my soul
– not just as a coping mechanism.
I most relate to teenage and
young adult girls, because this is the age my life took a difficult turn. It took me nearly a decade to get back on
track.
Because of my healing, I
could move on easily. No longer do I
have flash backs when my husband touches me a certain way, no more panic
attacks at strange hours of the day, but something inside of me says “Don’t forget.”
About a year ago, I started
project:USED.
You can read about my inspiration for project:USED here. It was an incredible
undertaking with so much support, but I’ll never forget how vulnerable I felt
releasing the video. Days before the
release, I cried into my husband’s shoulder.
What was I feeling? Was it
shame? Hurt? Fear? I’ve always been good at keeping secrets. There have been so many things in my life no
one was every supposed to know about. I
think the hurt came from breaking open a secret.
I continue to discover my
path. I have a great desire to
save. Sometimes this come out in the way
I salvage thrift store finds. It’s a fun way to save- to redeem. My Dear Trash ( six years old now and almost 1,000,000 hits) is full of hope. Where I once felt like trash, I found value
again in myself. I find a little bit of myself in every piece I work on.
Then I wrote my first novel The Mermaids Handbook of Secrets
(originally titled Colors of the Sea).
I explored scientist Rachel Carson and her
desire to protect the sea and our environment.
I’ve always loved Rachel Carson and her books, even making her a major
part of my studies through my communication degree at ASU. I took a postmodern twist on Rachel Carson
and developed a character for the young adult audience that would reintroduce
her passion for the sea to a new generation. There is an underlying theme of saving the sea from environmental trauma and the sexual abuse my character faces. You can read the first chapter here.
Then, my daughter was
born. Her presence; the very essence of
the female spirit radiated in her.
She. Girl. Safe. Loved.
And I’ve learned so much about myself and mothering from having a daughter.
Next, I wrote The Memory Catcher with my mom author
Sarah Hinze.
The book is her memoir; her
journey of her own miscarriage, to studying prebirth experiences and finally to
becoming a voice for the unborn.
Her
books share how unborn spirits can warn, protect and enlighten us. Then, unexpectedly her research presented
evidence that aborted babies may die here on earth, but their souls live
on. These real-life accounts in a book she
wrote called The Castaways provided
healing and hope for so many.
Coming soon, the 15-year anniversary edition of The Castaways (more on that later).
I learned
God can lead us when we write, especially when we write to honor Him. The experience made me crave
inspiring memoirs and I broke out of my normal reading genre - fiction. I’ve always known difficult things that happen
to us can lead to good things, but I learned it in a literary sense. There is a beautiful way to share such
stories.
I can’t forget my new found
love of Christian music. I spend a lot
of time painting and restoring furniture, working in the kitchen and so
forth. I stopped listening to political
radio and top 40 and turned the dial over to the inspiring messages and gorgeous tunes of
these amazing musicians. So many songs
touched my heart, but the one that stands out is Overcomer by Mandisa. Her story is amazing.
I was being
spiritually nourished throughout the day.
My relationship with Jesus Christ grew in leaps and bounds.
Then, project:USED
(www.projectused.com).
Dresses, the very
core of woman; some might say its sexist, but with the inspiration of
DRESSEMBER and a new look at what it means for a woman to wear a dress, I found
dresses liberating. The dress became a
symbol of what it means to be a strong woman.
Don’t hide behind pants, celebrate the female spirit.
After all that, what
now? I’ve come a long way as a mother,
wife, an entrepreneur, a writer and a girl.
I’ve blogged for almost six years.
My dear readers, what courage and healing you’ve provided me! It’s been so much fun. Thank you for following me on this journey and
I look forward to continuing the exploration of My Dear Trash. In addition
to my blog, I’ve written and completed almost five novels all about strong young adult girls that overcome in their own way. An exciting twist, my last two novels are historical fiction. God willing, I think I know where my next
step leads. I’m currently working with a
literary agency and I think my time may have finally come to publish my stories. Yes, it’s a big leap, but oh my! Am I ever
ready to hold own of my own books.
You’ll find me in a puddle of tears jumping for joy.
All these experiences (and too many to count) have lead me to light. I have so many stories and
ideas; dreams and goals – all bringing another step closer to the joy of being
a strong, confident girl!
I love having
so many artistic outlets in my life. If it wasn’t for the therapeutic outlet of
furniture restoration, I wouldn’t have so much time to collect my thoughts and explore plots. If
it wasn’t for writing, I’d probably explode in a big pile of ideas! So, wish me luck and courage and I take this
leap of faith into the world of publishing.
I’m so excited I can hardly stand it!
You can check out my website at lauralofgreen.com.
I'm also on pinterest here.
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