So, here I am – unable to drive by a Pizza Hut without throwing up.
I can’t stand the taste of the filtered water that pours out of my faucet.
Once I wash and cut an apple up, I can no longer eat it.
Don’t even get me started about sweet potato fries. I didn’t see that one coming.
On my 42nd birthday, I stared at myself in the mirror doing that self-inventory we all do on birthdays.
“Do I look old?”
“Anymore wrinkles this year?”
“I have got to get my roots done?”
And then we’re reminded how blessed we are to have another year and that we really have no control over if we get older or not.
I noticed a few gray hairs and plucked them out of existence. That will teach them! when something inside felt different. Maybe I should take a pregnancy test?
It read negative. Ok, so everything is normal. Everything goes back to normal when few days later that voice came back. “Maybe you should take another pregnancy test,” it said.
Two pregnancy tests couldn’t lie simultaneously. Oh my goodness. Another self-inventory while staring in the same mirror.
“Can I do this?”
“Am I strong enough?”
“Oh my gosh!”
At 42, I will say this baby was a planned surprise.
Planned: because the counselor and I have been wanting another child for several years now,
blame it on these precious people,
particularly this little one.
So, we’ve wanted another baby. I just have been unable to get pregnant.
Surprised: because after all this time I didn’t think it would ever happen! Oh my!
I did great the first few weeks – good attitude, stayed busy, wasn’t too sick and then WHAM!
I’m in bed and the room’s spinning. The counselor, bless his heart wants to make a grocery list and I can’t even mention the foods we need. He throws out ideas for quick and easy dinners and I ask him to stop. It makes me too sick. He’s on his own at the grocery store. Hopefully no one will starve.
I have my moments and those moments sometimes can to turn into entire days were I don’t move, but I’ve found if I have the strength walks around the neighborhood, bike rides and cuddle-a-thons in the bed with the kids are getting me through.
And of course the idea of a baby! Wow! I am so blessed.
As I get older, I marvel at the joy my children bring me.
I never considered myself a sentimental person, but my oh my – count me into that club.
Dandelion bouquets, lullabies, teaching a child how to swim, family prayer – the good times can be really special.
(Yes, those are wild horses.)
I can share this because with five somewhat older children, I’m on the other side of exhaustion.
No longer am I in the really hard physically demanding days of child-rearing. The diaper bags, nursing blankets and the dreaded car seat transfers; the lifting from tub to changing table to crib, sleepless nights and broken nap schedules. I survived. Now my oldest is my best baby sitter and my youngest is so capable, she can practically run things around here. I won’t have to chase a toddler with the pregnancy. Do I dare say I'll have a lot of help with this next baby? I think so.
My children are so excited. We’re looking though names, they’re going the extra mile to keep the house clean while I spend the day eating bon bons and taking bubble baths (ha ha) and they don’t seem to mind another night of waffles for dinner (that seems to be something I can make without hesitation)! I should probably mention my neighbor the caterer I’m stalking. Kristin’s the best cook; everything's homemade. I’m just going to sit outside her house with an empty dinner plate and beg for scraps. If I don’t have to prepare the food, I can usually eat it.
Before the morning sickness turned wicked, the family and I spent a week in Telluride; hence all the gorgeous fall photos. Considering my on-going pregnancy hot flash, the cool 50 degree days of Telluride left me sporting a permanent smile.
That place was the perfect start of what may not be the easiest pregnancy. I could reflect, share and embrace the joy and chaos of my family, so here we go again! I know what I'm in for. I may have an uphill battle to climb, but I put my trust in God because at the top of that hill is one of His precious children waiting to call me "Mommy."