My 100 Daughters Coloring Book Update

I’ve been drawing My 100 Daughters for six months.  Rising Star provided amazing photos of the girls of India.  

Since then I’ve illustrated, researched and found ways to draw them as I see them –beautiful, priceless, protected and perfect.  

These girls are from leprosy colonies.  

They have been hungry, even starving, they have begged, they have gone without, they have experienced things I will never understand.  

I have never met them, but I feel like I know them. 

Inspired by the shack and girl in this photo, this is what I drew.

I have loved them from afar for years. 

So far, I have now drawn 78 girls.  I’ve looked into their eyes, seen their unkept hair, studied their clothing, searched the India landscape, learned about their customs, and more.  I’ve never been to India, but a project like this draws my heart there.

A few days ago, I had a wonderful conversation with Amy, the director of Rising Star Outreach India.  Rising Star provides a school and much more for the children from leprosy colonies.  Through them, my family now sponsors three girls.

I loved meeting Becky Douglas and Amy Humphrey.

As I’m approaching the end of the project, I feel like something’s missing.  After prayer and fasting, I realized it was their stories.  But how?  How do I collect stories from girls a world away?  Amy said she would help and we discussed the type of questions we could ask:

What is the hardest thing you’ve ever done?

What do you do that makes you happy?

What do you want to be when you grow up?

What are your talents?  What do you think you’re really good at?

What’s the most precious thing to you?

What’s the most valuable thing to you?

A memory of your happiest moment.

Amy mentioned to me how families in the leprosy colonies sleep in small shacks and some of the parent’s sleep sitting up because there’s no place to lie down. I want to capture these details in the book My 100 Daughters.  Also, facts about Rising Star Outreach and quotes from the founder Becky Douglas.

I was inspired by this photograph of this cutie and decided to draw many little girls (and animals) holding their own coloring page.

50% of the proceeds of My 100 Daughters will go Rising Star to sponsor girls. It would be amazing if I could travel to India next summer.  When Amy and I first spoke in March 2017 I told her I hoped to raise enough money to sponsor 100 girls.  She said I would sponsor way more then 100 girls.  She planted that seed in my heart and I believe that with all my soul, but I can't do it without you.  I need your support.  When I launch My 100 Daughters in October, I hope you'll share the link with your friends, purchase the coloring book for yourself, your daughters, your friends and more. 

My daughter Eden loves to color.  She was the one who suggested My 100 Daughters should be a coloring book.

Here's Eden in her little shirt from India.  She's become very interested in India.

 It’s been touching to see her look at the illustrations, each time taking the page to her desk, pulling out her paint supplies, sharpening her colored pencils, asking questions about the girls and coloring them with such care.  In the past, I’ve looked for coloring books for her at the book store and on-line.  Many of the coloring books are Disney princesses and commercial products like Shopkins or Sophia the First.  I’ve wanted to have her color art that teaches something, not just promote more stereotypes and commercialism.  My 100 Daughters has introduced her to something she may spend the rest of her life learning about.  She’s bonded with the girls of India and understands they need our help. Children are so interested in what other children in the world go through.  

Here's my little niece Emma coloring the girls.

My students have taken a deep interest in the girls of India. 

They want to know what's going on and how they can help.

The coloring book My 100 Daughters will be released October 11, 2017 – The International Day of the Girl (Amy’s brilliant idea).  It will be available on Amazon.  Please follow me on facebook (lauralofgreen or My Dear Trash) or instagram (lalalofgreen) for updates.  I’m also working on a short video about the project.     

No Prayer Is Too Small

A few weeks ago, after a lovely trip to Flagstaff, our family stopped at Slide Rock in Sedona for a day full of water play and adventure.  It was absolutely breathtaking.  The cold mountain water feels like a blessing to me as it washes over my body.  By the end of the day, I’m cold and shivering because, eventually, hours of frolicking in freezing mountain water takes its toll on your body, but it’s a small price to pay for so much fun. 

The sky was blue, the mountains were red and the green pines stood out in contrast against the landscape. To think God put water right in the middle of all this majesty, well it just goes to show how great God is. 

Derek wasn’t interested in swimming, so he took over on baby duty while Chandler and I made our way to the small cliff for some jumping.  

This is now Canyon's reaction every time I take a photo.

CHEESE!

Up the creek a few hundred feet from the slide is a real curved, dipping, slippery slide made by Mother Nature herself. 

After cliff jumping, I scampered my way up to the top of the slide and after waiting for several others in front of me, I pushed off.  Once was not enough.  I went again and again.  Because of my amazing husband, I had no mother duties and I took full advantage of this.  Again and again I went.  Most people sat and scooted into the slide, but I found if I lay on my back the water lifted and took hold of me, swiftly pushing me down into the turns and curves of the slide.  With the water in control, I was a bit out of control – getting dunked unexpectedly and hitting a rock a bit too hard, but it was worth it until several people in front of me stopped in the middle of the slide to take a picture.  I tried to sit up as quickly as I could, but I was coming down fast.  With my hands, I tried to stop myself and that’s when my pinky finger hit against the rock and pulled.  The pain was immediate.  Had I broken it?  I finished up the slide and pulled myself out of the water as the pain in my finger built.  I can be a bit accident prone, so I’m familiar with the process of a sprained finger, toe; a swollen ankle.  After some examination, my finger didn’t appear to be broken, but my day of fun most likely was. 

Unless!!??

Could I ask God to help me, with my hurt pinky finger, that I wouldn’t suffer too much pain on this beautiful day?  I didn’t have any pain reliever, no Tylenol or Motrin, so I needed God’s relief.  I wanted to play.  I wanted to frolic.  I wanted to make memories. 

So, I said a pray, instinctively gave my own finger a kiss (like I would if it was one of my kids) and went back to playing.  The pain in my finger was a bit of a distraction, but after 10 minutes, I noticed the cold water was helping subside the pain.  Almost as cold as ice, the water was working to reduce swelling.  By the time I found my big boys jumping off the high cliffs, the pain was practically gone.

God heard my little selfish prayer.  I was granted a pain-free day and even that night on the drive back home to Phoenix, I marveled that hours early I’d wondered if I’d broken my finger.  This is not the first time God has done this and I’m sure it’s not the last.

Flagstaff Picture Canyon

Kachina Trail Snowbowl

The Weatherford Hotel

We love Flagstaff.

Why I Don’t Own A Scale

I don’t own a scale.  I know this is the only reason I remained committed to Medifast for the 90-days I set out.  There were days I wanted to quit and that it seemed too hard, but not having a scale kept me present.  In the past, if I weighed myself and I’d not lost or even gained a few pounds, I’d sabotage myself, feel like the whole process was worthless and eat like tomorrow would never come.  If I’d lost a few pounds, I’d feel like I could eat more and I wanted to celebrate with a little treat.  Either way, in the past owning a scale has prevented me from staying committed to my weight loss goals. 

It’s been an amazing summer.  

In the past, having all the kids home for summer could be very stressful for me, but since I’ve had my year-long experience with intermittent fasting and prayer our family has experienced a lot of healing.  There’s more love, more patience, more gratitude. I think once I changed, once I learned to love myself, once I learned to be more patience with myself and to notice the blessings in my life, once I gained a bit of perspective and realized what was really going on around here, once I faced my food addiction and negative body image issues, once I stopped procrastinating my personal goals, once I took ownership for my strengths and faults – it was like the mood of our home changed.  I’ve heard the mother of the home sets the tone and I can see how true that was in our home.  Once I believed I am a child of God it’s like everything changed.  Sure, our family still have struggles and I still have setbacks, but nothing like before. 

It’s been 5 months since I stopped intermittent fasting.  

October 2016

In March 2017, after 14 months of daily 16-hour fasts, I stopped and within days of “free eating”, I was struggling with body image issues again.  I wanted to eat for my emotional needs.  I was shocked at how fast my old habits came back and slapped me in the face. At first, I didn’t know what to do, but God and my family helped me. I realized if I didn’t have any eating guidelines, I was too out of control.  No longer could I live without food boundaries.  I celebrated the fact I’d finally matured around food.  I didn’t want food to rule me every again, so I set boundaries.  I faithfully tried Keto for six weeks, but didn’t have any success (I realize now it was because I was eating too much).  At the end of April, I prayed about it and decided to get on Medifast.  Oh man, the first two weeks were killer.  That sugar addiction is such a pull, but I knew how unhappy I’d be if I didn’t follow through.  It took six weeks!  SIX WEEKS! I can’t believe I held on that long but around the six week mark on Medifast, I felt a noticeable relief from that nasty sugar addiction.  It was no longer a habit to make chocolate cookies every day after my kids got home from school.  I still wanted sugary cereal, but Medifast has a wonderful high-protein cereal that took the edge off.  I was able to get off dairy and found new interests in my home to keep me occupied.  I was drawing girls for My Hundred Daughters project and the task of researching the girls of India was a great distraction from chocolate, cookies and sweets.

I now don’t care how much I weigh.  

August 2017

For someone who has always felt fat, this is a huge deal.  Losing weight to weigh a certain number has never worked for me.  It’s failed me time and time again.  Losing weight to look a certain way or wear a certain size has never worked for me. I’ve tried since I was 10 years old to diet so I fit in better with society, so I could have more friends, so I wouldn’t feel so bad about myself but that approach has never worked for me. It has only left me unfulfilled and insecure.  My year of fasting helped me learn to rely more on God, to think of the poor and hungry and to get out of my victim mentality.  90 days on Medifast taught me about self-control, portion size and to overcome my sugar addiction. I’m so thankful a loving God has directed me to my personal path to health and positive body image. 

I used to think a day or two of eating healthy should result in a drastic change in my weight, but 17 months later, I realize this is a life-long commitment.  Change takes more then even a couple of weeks of healthy eating. I never understood this level of commitment before, but I’ve found a wonderful substitution for sugar called Stevia.  Without it, I would not have lasted.  When I want something sweet, there is a Stevia treat waiting for me.

There are many dieting lies out there.  Lots of companies are trying to take advantage of your money.  They and many other financial and media outlets want you to look a certain way because they’ve deemed beauty one way or the other.  This makes them very rich and powerful. I had to let everything go.  I couldn’t worry about clothing size and weight.  I couldn’t compare myself anymore to other women. For me finding emotional/physical/spiritual health and eating the right foods had to start with God.  I could only love myself if I understood more clearly about how God sees the world, even how He sees me.  How does God see beauty?  How does God see women?  He made me for a purpose and it’s not to wallow in self-pity, regret and false expectations.   I remember as a girl and teenager praying God would just help me be thin.  I’m thankful I’ve had to work through Him to find my way.  A magic pill wouldn’t have done it.  It has helped me overcome so many other challenges.  For me, being overweight was like a spider web with many different paths, pulls and patterns of destruction. The struggle is real, but so are the rewards.  I still have a long journey ahead of me, but little by little, I’m learning to love myself enough to give myself the gift of long-term health, self-love and food boundaries.  It should come as no surprise that going without sugar, dairy and white flour results in weight loss.  When my clothes feel loser, I'm shocked and then have to laugh at myself. Of course after hard work and commitment there is success. It's small and takes time, but little by little the body does change.

Those of you who are struggling with your weight and body image, I know how you feel. I know God will help you.  Do not think how I used to and feel like you are too far gone.  We live in a society were 60-70% of us are overweight.  The food industry sucks.  They are lying to us everyday.  They are putting sugar, genetically modified foods and chemicals in the things we eat.  They want us and our children eating all the time.  Shame on them.  We deserve better.  Food was never meant to be what it has become. It’s really sick.  We have to rise up, be stronger and become more informed.  Everyday is a new commitment.  It’s alright to be happy where you’re at.  For me it was about both accepting where I was at, accepting that my weight does not change my self worth – to then – deciding to love myself enough to set boundaries.  There are two sides to this equation.  Loving who you are now and making goals to take better care of myself. I'm not an expert in weight loss, but I am passionate about helping others learn to love themselves, appreciate our bodies and overcome negative body image.

If you’re interested more in my experience with intermittent fasting and prayer, how I overcame food addiction, negative body image and finally lost weight, you can read my memoir Starving Girl available on Amazon and Kindle.

Book Trailer for Starving Girl.

Enjoy my Podcast on Youtube.

Rising Star and Meeting Becky Douglas

Traveling to Utah last week was very special, even transforming.  Although I served a full-time mission in Salt Lake City, I don’t know Salt Lake and Utah very well.  

You see, Temple Square is just 10 acres of land and I was a tour guide.  

Ask me anything about that 10 acres, and we’ll have a nice conversation, but the land of Utah is still quite foreign to me.

On Tuesday, June 21, I drove up Provo Canyon to Heber.  While traveling among the mountains and streams, roaring rivers and waterfalls, I peered at the snow-capped mountain tops and thought “What is this place?”  

Pure perfection, crisp mountain air, lakes, big sky, puffy clouds, meadows of flowers, quaking aspen, I mean, it was out of a picture book. 

Why didn’t I live here?

 

I arrived at the Rising Star Presidential Brunch and immediately met with Amy Humphrey, the director of Rising Star.  We’ve only known each other for a few months, but we’d spent so much time on the phone together, we hugged and visited like life-long friends.  She introduced me to various wonderful people and I was able to meet the volunteers that really make Rising Star so successful.  

Authors Richard and Linda Eyre

Brunch was amazing and after I filled my plate with fresh peaches, spinach salad and strawberries, I sat down and listened to Gentri sing their new song about India, reaching out to others and making a difference in the world.  

They are traveling to India next week to produce a video for Rising Star.  Here is a sample of their beautiful music.

Becky Douglas spoke and the stories she told of such extreme poverty in India really drew a picture in my mind of what these people suffered, but these weren’t just sad stories because Becky does something about it.  It seems every time she faces a hopeless situation, she counters it with something beautiful.  She doesn’t let poverty or leprosy get the last word because she get’s to work and confronts it head on. I’m not sure how she does it, only she’s on God’s errand to help, heal and inspire the people of India.   

I was able to give Becky a painting that represented to me her story as a humanitarian, her love for her daughter Amber and her love for the people of India. I may or may not have been crying my eyes out, but the love that radiates from Becky is undeniable.  In the scriptures it says:

Matthew 25:37–40: “Then shall the righteous answer him, saying, Lord, when saw we thee an hungred, and fed thee? or thirsty, and gave thee drink?

“When saw we thee a stranger, and took thee in? or naked, and clothed thee?

“Or when saw we thee sick, or in prison, and came unto thee?

“And the King shall answer and say unto them, Verily I say unto you, Inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least of these my brethren, ye have done it unto me.”

Becky says she’s not a hero, but she’s certainly one of mine.

I was able to share the poem behind my project My 100 Daughters and had printed off a coloring book with up-to-date pictures I’ve drawn of the girls of India. 

So far, I’ve drawn over 40 girls and will have all 100 girls drawn by September 2017.  The book and coloring book will be released on October 11, 2017, to celebrate and bring attention to the international Day of the Girl.

To read more about My 100 Daughters, you can click here.  I am also working with a very talented videographer and making a short documentary about the project. 

The next day, I was able to meet with the incredible ladies of Big Ocean and share the story of Becky Douglas, Rising Star and how my experience with intermittent fasting and prayer led me to want to help the poor and hungry.  

Big Ocean did video our evening together, so I will post that as soon as it’s available.

God Doesn't Forget Anyone - Project:USED

When we were in California, I brought some used dresses that I’d found weeks earlier at the thrift store. I wanted to have a project:USED fashion shot at the beach. 

These dresses range in price from $1.00 to $5.00.  New, some of these would be over $100.

Why a used dress?

Used is an interesting word.  It can mean worn-out, discarded and thrown away. It can mean old, no longer of value or trash. That’s how I felt at the age of 18 after I was sexually abused by my boss.  I lost much of my self-worth and didn’t see value in myself anymore.  Many of the choices I made in my life were influenced by my low self esteem.  I didn’t realize what had happened to me other then I was broken and there was no way out.

But, God doesn’t forget anyone.  He certainly didn’t forget me.

Little by little, drip by drip love came into my life. It took years, but slowly, the blinders came off my eyes and I started to see how sexual abuse had stripped me of so much of my identity.

So what does a vintage dress have to do with sexual abuse?

When I was 14, my mom took me to the Child Crisis Thrift Store in Mesa.  This was my first time at a thrift store and I thought I’d died and gone to heaven.  Mainly, I would purchase dolls, Barbie’s and toys for my little brothers and sisters.  While in college, I started thrifting for clothes, mainly anything vintage.  I would wear bell-bottoms, turtle necks and A-line skirts. The first time Derek saw me at the ASU ward church service, I was wearing a 1960’s used pencil dress I’d found at Salvation Army.  I felt like a million bucks in that dress and that was the day he asked for my phone number.  With a borrowed pen, I wrote my phone number on the palm of his hand. He says it was love at first sight. I say it was the dress.

When I started selling clothing I found at thrift stores on eBay, I found used dresses sold the best.  I might find an Ann Taylor or Eileen Fisher dress for $1.00 and later it would sell for $50.  

Here are a few dresses I sold.

Aren't they all gorgeous, unique and wanted.

On dollar day at Goodwill, I would first search through the dress section because a used dress sold even better than a used pair of designer jeans.  

I discovered designer dresses I’d never heard of before and because of the beautiful fabric, the feel of quality, the impeccable design, I would know immediately it was valuable.

Then, my friend Jenn showed me how much a vintage dress costs on ETSY - hundreds of dollars and I could see why.  A vintage dress isn’t just a dress; it’s a piece of time, made before companies cut corners, made when fashion was born.  These dresses are etched in movie history and worn by celebrity goddesses.  A vintage dress was a statement!

Used, beautiful, priceless – not just a dress, but that was me too!!

At times, my healing from sexual abuse felt like I was riding a roller coaster.  I would speed into such awareness of how much I’m loved, that I am a daughter of God and because of that, I’m priceless.  This is what happened the day I thought of project:USED. (You can read about that here). 

If you want to support project:USED, get to your thrift store, raid your mom’s closet or look on-line and find yourself a gorgeous used dress.  USED doesn’t need to be less-then, old and garbage, it can mean beautiful, restored and priceless. #projectused 

Eden and I have been wearing used dresses for a while now.  It started with Dressember. Dressember asks women during the month of December to wear a dress everyday (it doesn't have to be a vintage or used dress, that's just my take on it) to raise awareness, to celebrate the female spirit and to raise awareness and funds for those who are being sold into sex-trafficking.

All these dresses are used.  Dresses have really helped me reclaim myself, my femininity and to love my body again.

I remember on time I was in New York at a Writer's Conference and I wanted to bring Eden back something beautiful.  I stopped at a boutique and found a used dress priced $90.  "Forget it," I thought and found a Goodwill. I bought her a used dress for $5.00, even cuter then the dress I'd found at the boutique.  Sometimes, I even find French little girl dresses.  A beautiful dress does not need to be expensive.

$2.99 dresses from Goodwill.

I celebrate these dresses because of what they represent to me.

If you’ve been hurt or abused, if you’ve wondered if you’re valuable, please know you are. You are a one of a kind, made by the greatest designer of all, created to shine, to be beautiful and because of you, the world is a better place.  Let’s raise awareness.  Sexual abuse is a plague and we protect those around us, especially the younger generation.  Did you know 1 out of 3 girls will be sexually abused in her lifetime?  

Click here to watch it full-screen on youtube.  Please share this video.

My memoir Starving Girl shares my story of overcoming sexual abuse, food addiction and emotional eating.

Click here to watch it on full-screen.
Follow project:USED on facebook by clicking here.