Food, stop lying to me.

Dear food,

I appreciate you, I really do.  I know I can’t live without you.  I know you have a purpose in my life and I acknowledge you feed every pulse in my body, that without you I wouldn’t grow and heal and survive.  Thank you.  I live a very comfortable life and have you in excess.  You influence is everywhere.  Problem is, you’ve over stepped your bounds.

I let it happen.  I invited you in when I was lonely and you definitely filled the void.  For much of my life I’ve had a great need to have you near.  You’ve satisfied the artist in me, the bored child in me and the irrational starving girl.  Your beauty, in all your textures, smells and colors, mesmerized me.  Truly, you satisfy like nothing else.

You’ve been the life of my party for decades.  You throw the best parties, even when no one else is there but you and me.  Without saying a word, you speak of desire, passion and hunger.  You are more powerful then I realized, making me realize you may not be the best influence in my life.

The problem is you’re a control freak.  You want to be present in every aspect of my life and although I appreciate you, I really do, I need to take a step back.  You’re the nagging know-it-all who thinks you have all the answers.  Once you came over, you never left and you’ve been grazing uncontrollably in my life ever since  You beautiful in small quantities, but the way you insist on getting bigger and bigger is unhealthy and quite honestly, rude.  

More people then I can count go without you and they suffer.  Why don’t you go spend some time with them?  I’m not the only person on the planet, you know.  So many other people need you more then I do.

Food, please go back to your roots.  Remember where you came from.  You were born out of necessity from the rich soils of the earth.  You feed animals, plants and little biddy insects.  Organically, you are at your best. Covered in preservatives and hormones, you’ve become the equivalent to an aging super-model who’s had too much plastic surgery.  You’re beautiful as you are; pure and nutritious.  I don’t need you to change to appeal to me. 

Stop lying to me.  I trust you, especially when I’m hungry.  Stop trying to sell yourself as a single-serving size when you’re not.  Please stop asking me if I want you super-sized.  Your constant badgering sets me up for failure.  If you’d stop screaming for even a single second, I’d be able to hear my own guttural survival instincts.  Stop shouting you’re sugar-free when what you really are is full of aspartame, solidified corn syrup or some other unpronounceable concoction.  If you can’t read your own ingredients, do not try to pass yourself off as food. 

It’s one thing to take advantage of me, but now that you have my kid’s attention I’m ticked. 

Stop singing to them, appealing to them through sprinkles, Disney characters and pop-culture.  Your tactics are sick and I see right through your money-hungry paws.  You're brainwashing them into believing eating the worst of you is better then eating the best of you.  Get your greedy hands away from my kids.

There are so many things I love about you, but no longer can you control me.  It’s just not healthy.  I don't need you like I once did.  I have so many beautiful things in my life. I no longer need you to find purpose.  I will invite you in when necessary.  When you are good and whole, you have a place at my table, otherwise, go away and don’t come back.  I don’t need to pay for your dysfunctional habits anymore.

Sincerely,

Laura Lofgreen

P.S.

Do not think you can sneak up on me and sweet talk your way back into my life.  I have a grapefruit tree and I’m not afraid to use it.

P.S.S
I'm disgusted your influence kept me swollen and fat.  90-days of intermittent fasting and I have the privilege of putting my wedding ring back on again.  Nothing tastes as good as that.