The Thrill of the Hunt

I’m working on EBAY again. Why? Because I’m an addict.

It’s simple. If there is a way to reverse gambling or be on the other side of a winning jackpot, that’s what EBAY is to me. There’s never a risk and I win big every time.

It starts the night before with a somewhat anxious sleep. Dreaming of racks of clothes, designer jeans and long glamorous dresses. I can never sleep the night before dollar day at Goodwill. By 9:00am the next morning, I’m out the door, practically running to the car, tripping over my kids good-bye kisses. I fumble for me keys, secure my water bottle in my purse, pull my hair ties from my wrist and wrap my hair up in a tight ponytail. The hunt is on.

I dodge through traffic, stopping briefly for the old woman crossing the road, mumbling under my breath while my fingers tap on the steering wheel. “Come on,” I say to her impatiently. The store opens in 3 minutes. When did I become so rude?

The red balloons near the sidewalk in front of the Goodwill are a good marketing ploy, announcing dollar day like an actual celebration for drivers passing by and it may pull in a few meager patrons, but I know other addicts like me mark their calendar for this special day too. Balloons or not, we’d be there with our own helium.

Goodwill has a funny smell, like the dishes are still in the sink from last night’s supper. Yes, tangy, but to me it’s the smell of opportunity.
Once I step inside the slightly malfunctioning door, more balloons wave a color, another color. A clue. Yes, today there are pink balloons.

This means all pink tags are $1.00.

Image found here.

What can I get with $1.00 at another store? A pack of gum? No, gum is like what, $1.29? Seriously, Goodwill is different. Oh, look at that pink tagged item on the rack in front of me. I leap and reach. I pull the hanger off the rack with the grace of a ballerina and it clicks off the rack like gold bracelet’s clanging together. Let’s see. First the label. Yes, Juicy Couture. I LOVE Juicy Couture. I’d marry it if I could (not really, honey, I’m just joking). Fabric, Linen. Size, Large. Any spots, tears, stains. I’m like an emergency room shopper scanning my patient for injury with x-ray vision. Relief washes over my face as I look at a perfect $1.00 item. I might earn $15.00 with this shirt posted on EBAY. The listing will read: Juicy Couture Large Pink Halter Cute Shirt.

I’m such a writer. I can’t escape it. By the way, I’ve really bonded to Lady GaGa. I think she loves clothes as much as I do, but I digress.

I slow down as I approach the jean rack. If I’m lucky, I’m the first to browse. Slowly now, to saver it a bit, I look at the first pair of jeans as I lick my lips. American Eagle, but no, they have a green tag. A causality, but I can’t let it get me down, knowing all too well it will be a distant memory in mere seconds. Next, Tommy Hilfiger, Size 7. Juniors don’t sell well on EBAY, so I pass. Plus, the style is pre 1990’s, not for my EBAY page. I have the highest standards. Now, what do we have here? Volcom Stone Jeans, pink tag, they smell a bit like bud, yes I mean dope, I don’t know how I know this because I’ve never smoked weed, but someone how I instinctively know. Someone’s been getting high in these beauty’s, but there mine now. I remove them from the hanger, perform a brief examination, scan the size, and make sure the button and zipper works. Another score. I’ll post these for $9.99.

What’s this? Another pair of hot low-rise jeans, but I’m not sure the label. Joe’s? Joe’s Jeans? Never heard of it, but I can tell by the European labeling, plus the jeans are sized by waist. Waist 26 inches, and the back pockets are gleaming with fancy embroidering. I’m gushing. How can I not? I have feeling these will sell for big money.

So, let me fast forward. I’ve purchased over $100.00 of merchandise and it’s all sitting in my living room. My living room now smells tangy and I haven’t eaten lunch yet. I wash my hands and watch as the water turns brown. Yes, it’s dirty work. I grab an apple and pick up Reef. He’s so cute. Kisses and more kisses with his tongue hanging out. Love it.

I’m sitting at my computer and log into EBAY. I search Joe’s Jeans, remember, Joe’s, the mystery designer that sounds more like the name of a mechanic than a clothing designer, but they look too good for me to stereotype. Dozen’s of Joe’s Jean fill the EBAY page and I find most sell for anywhere between $60.00 to $175.00. I knew it.

Image found here.

And this is where the gambling analogy comes into play. How much will I win? Will I hit the jackpot? It’s exciting. Even Chandler’s getting into it, asking every day before the jeans sell “What is the bid for Joe’s Jeans up to now, Mom.”

I have many crushes, including Tommy Bahama, J. Jill, Janeville, FLAX, CP Shades, Hot Cotton, Diesel, Sevens for all Mankind, Citizens for Humanity, any thing Ralph Lauren for women in plus sizes (size 16 or higher). I could go on and on, (White House Black Market, Chico’s, J. Crew) but I already have.

It’s so bad; I can actually predict the designer label just by looking at the clothing on the rack. Without even touching it I might think Ann Taylor, and I’m usually right. And I can tell if it’s Wal-mart (White Stag), Target (Merona) or JC Penney (too many to list). More than once I’ve brought home a mystery item because the quality is too good to pass up. Last week, I found a pair of XVCI pants and find out they sell new at Anthroplogie for $140.00. I list them as XCVI Medium Wearables Cropped Drawstring Cargo Pants and sell them for $24.99.

Image found here.

Is there an EBAY Anonymous? But I won’t stop, I already know. Denial big time.

But I make cash, have fun, donate to charity, shop green and keep the post office busy with plenty of business. In this economy, I’m a princess in so many ways.

Image found here.

So, guess what I found out. Saver’s Thrift store has a dollar day on Mondays. Looks like Sunday nights will become restless for this addict.