How to handle returns?

I recently received the following two emails:

  Hello. I love your blog and find it very inspirational! So I have decided to start selling  a few items in hopes to start bringing in some money to help the family budget. However I have sold some hiking shoes that I thought were womens only to find out they are mens. The buyer would like to return them. I did not know they were mens! Has this happened to you and if so how did you handle it?  What should I do?And if I return them how is shipping handled?

And another one

Thanks for your blog!  It has inspired me to sell on ebay, and I have been selling clothes for the past few months.  Generally, this has gone well, however I received an email today regarding a return.
A woman had purchased 2 skirts from me, and would like to return them because they don't fit.  In my return policiy, it says 3 days and buyer pays shipping.  Since I don't have specifically that I won't return an item because it doesn't fit, do you reccommend that I accept the return and put a disclaimer on future auction pages?

I guess it’s time to discuss returns.

Returns are an unfortunate and sometimes messy aspect of eBay, but it’s most likely to happen at some point in time.  I’ve shipped many great items, only to have the customer not happy with the shade of blue or upset the pants are pleated instead of flat. 

My rule of thumb is this:

If the return is based on personal taste, I do not refund shipping.

If the return in based on error, for example a stain was found, a tear, or the item was mis-measured, then I refund all shipping costs as well.

Funny, I say all that like I'm the boss, but customers can be sticky.  

Here's an example.  A customer recently purchased this Calvin Klein Dress from me for $14.00. 

After receiving the dress, she was not happy with the low dip collar line and wanted to return the dress not just for a full refund, but for shipping costs too.  She said the photo does not clearly display the collar line and that was my error.

I'm not too sure about that, but because I don't want negative feedback, I did refund her shipping costs too.

Another idea if the customer demand you pay for shipping costs?

If I don’t want to pay the return shipping costs, I have the customer donate the item to their local thrift store, but I still return original shipping and cost of the merchandise.

Returns aren’t pretty and I’m glad they do not happen very often.

I do think it’s important to have a return policy displayed in all your listings.  Mine goes a little something like this:

Positive feedback is very important to me.  If you purchase something from my store, I want you to be 100% satisfied.  Please contact me if you have any concern with your item and I will do my best to resolve the issue in your favor.  I work for you, the customer and love finding you the cutest fashions and the lowest prices. 

  I do ship internationally and charge $14.95 for most items.  I am also happy to offer a shipping discount on multiple items.  Please add $2.00 for the first item and $1.00 for any additional items to the highest shipping price on the items you are purchasing. Paypal payments are expected within three days of purchase. I will send invoices out as soon as possible and you are welcome to pay for your item even if you have not received an invoice.  I will not contact you unless there is some problem with your item.  Please ignore the flash bubbles my camera leaves on dark clothing.  I enjoy making every eBay experience a great one. 

In a way, eBay can be so impersonal, with sellers and buyers barking at each other so I really want my customers to know that I will do my best to resolve each issue as it comes.  I think of how I’m treated when I shop at a department store.  For the most part, I’m granted requests on returns and I feel my eBay customer should have the same benefit.

Keep communication open and you should still have a good experience, even if you are out the shipping costs.