Rejection #38 and Day 4 of the 5 Day Give Away

Dear Writer:

Thanks for seeking representation with us. I'm afraid I don't feel I can sell your book.

I wish you the very best of luck in your pursuit of representation.

Signed, Agent X

Image found here.

Another rejection letter, read at 10:00pm, when I’m tired and discouraged by how messy my house is. Home-made lasagna needs to be put away and Reef is crying for another chocolate chip cookie.

My manuscript lays open on the computer screen, staring back at me and I wonder why I give it so much of myself.

Chandler comes and sits with me and I explain to him why I’m sad. I show him the rejection letter.

“Have you ever wanted something so bad and you work really hard and you still don’t get it?” I ask him.

His ten-year old mind thinks for a moment, and he shakes his head no.

But still, he feels my pain and sits with me for a while.

We listen to the music coming from the computer. When I write, I listen to New Age on AOL radio. It clears my mind, but leaves me teetering on that edge of enlightenment and heartache.

I’ll blame my mood on the music.

The counselor comes in and offers to pray for the night. He prays for safety in our home, good health, love and that we can accomplish the things God wants us to.

What is it I want to accomplish?

Why do I want to be a writer so much?

Isn’t writing for my own fulfillment enough?

I want to be a writer because I have something to say.

My story is about a girl named Winona, a girl I’ve come to love because she’s so alive in my mind. Here’s her story (the condensed version).

Winona Ray never understood her dad’s unpredictable temperament or bizarre research. When he takes his life she leaves home, moves near the sea and pursues her dream to study marine biology. Like her hero, ocean scientist and author Rachel Carson, Winona’s capable of healing the sea from an endangered future, but a secret more vulnerable than her dad’s death forces her in the shadows of a constant nightmare. Assigned to mentor freshman Darren Michaels, a Son of Triton, Winona finds herself shaken not just by his deep-sea green eyes, but his patronizing complexity. What she ultimately learns is he holds the keys not only to healing the sea, but her own soul.

Winona is why I can’t sleep at night. Winona is why I turn on my computer after midnight. Winona is why I left my nursing baby last year and went to New York City. Through Winona I dream and feel and understand. I yearn and contemplate and envision. She’s taken me many places I’ve never been and I can’t let her go.

Image found here.

So, today, my dear friends, my give-away is a copy of my manuscript, Colors of the Sea, because it is not trash to me. Just leave a comment below to qualify.

And I’ll keep writing, because writing is like breathing; I need it to survive.

Scroll down to see days 1, 2, and 3 of our week long give-aways.